Some recent photos

Lasagna!

He enjoys wearing his food. Mashed potatoes can be therapeutic.


He loves getting into anything that might contain him; though he isn't containted for long!

Beautiful boy.

Pancake mix. Yes, I left the pantry door open, again.

I was out of sight from him for a few moments eating my lunch at the table. I just thought he was playing quietly. He was...with the pancake mix.

Short Visit to Henryetta

Back in late July, I got to meet up with Larissa in Henryetta, OK. She was in for a short visit from New York and we arranged to meet there since it was halfway from OK City and halfway from Fort Smith. For those of you who don't know, Larissa is one of my dear friends from our time in San Francisco. I hadn't seen her since Gabriel was about a week old, so it was great that we could connect. She's a lot of fun and a few of these pictures show her craziness. We went to Wal-Mart so I could find a sippy cup for Gabriel. While I was in the midst of making that difficult decision, she was having fun with Gabriel, putting strange shoes on him and taking pictures.

That's just wrong.

Sweet little Micah man

We watched 20/20 last Friday night which was about medical miracles. The one segment we were waiting to see was toward the end, about a 13 year old girl with autism who has learned to communicate using a computer. She cannot speak but began typing a few words one day, which shocked her parents and made them realize she wasn’t as intellectually impaired as they thought.

It was an encouraging story, though quite rare for someone with autism to be able to communicate like that. Of course, it made me think about Micah and wonder if he is never able to speak, will he be able to communicate in some fashion through sign language, or as advanced as typing on a computer? He communicates now by taking our hand or arm to try and show us what he wants or raises his voice in frustration if we can’t figure it out. He knows a few signs, and we are trying to be proactive in introducing new signs. We are only doing one a week, as suggested by his speech therapist so that we don’t overwhelm him. We try and use the few we know in communication with him even if he is not yet using the signs back to us.He was just recently approved to get an augmented speech device, which is basically a small computer that he will take everywhere. It has numerous icons like food, drink, etc. and once he learns to use it, the idea is for him to push the icon and it speaks whatever the picture is. It will take about 2 months to come in. We are thankful for this and hope that he will be able to use it and not merely push buttons to hear the noises.

I have to say, not being able to communicate with him well is one of the hardest things about Micah having Tuberous Sclerosis. Wayne and I often take turn playing with the boys in separate rooms in the evening since Micah doesn’t want Gabriel near him. I was sitting in his room reading to him and started to get sad, wondering what life will be like for him as the years go by. I really don’t allow myself to think about it too much, because it’s too hard. I began to cry as I imagined what his future might hold. I also started to feel compassion for him. I get frustrated with him because he still doesn’t want Gabriel near, and start thinking “C’mon already, it’s been 13 months!!” but then I have to remind myself that he can’t help it.

We pray for him all the time, asking God to give him speech and asking God to heal him totally, believing that He could do it in an instant if he so chose. I don’t mean to be pessimistic when I say imagining his future is too hard. For Wayne and myself, it’s almost like tug of war with living between hope/faith and reality. Yes, God can do miracles, but we also have to consider that he might not. Yet, for now I think it’s best to take it one day at a time and rejoice in the small bits of progress we see, like him starting to do some of the motions for songs and sit still during center time at his school. His smile and laughter give a lot of people joy, including us.

Our 8th Anniversary

It’s so hard to believe we’ve been married for 8 years today! It doesn’t seem like it has been that long! A lot has happened in that time as I suppose a lot happens in anyone’s life in 8 years. We’ve had some hard times like Wayne’s cancer a year and a half into our marriage, my sister’s brain tumor diagnosis several months later, and then Micah being diagnosed with TSC when he was almost 5 months old. We’ve also had enjoyable times such as the birth of our boys, Kelly graduating from seminary(Wayne had already graduated when we married), job promotions for Wayne, and living in the San Francisco bay area.

Though the hard times have been challenging, I’m thankful to God for healing in certain ways for each person. Wayne was healed completely. Kim is doing fairly well, though her quality of life is not the same and she has many health problems. I remember that it was our anniversary weekend in 2003 when I found out about her tumor. It was so hard to celebrate and I spent much of the weekend crying. I was so afraid of losing her. I’m so thankful that didn’t happen.

Micah only has occasional seizures now. Though there’s so much we hope and pray for in his life concerning his development, we try and live one day at a time. He can be hard to deal with sometimes, and so much fun a lot of the time.

I’m thankful that through God’s grace we have held together through all of these situations. I’ve heard that the divorce rate is really high for those who have kids with special needs. It can be quite stressful, but I’m thankful that Wayne is very helpful in caring for the boys and he is encouraging to me when I feel like things are overwhelming. He never makes me feel like I am overreacting to frustrating situations.

Now here we are in Fort Smith, Arkansas. I don’t think either of us would have ever guessed that 8 years ago. It’s where God has us, at least for a season, and we are trying to “bloom where we are planted.”

Gabriel's 1st birthday!

Gabriel had his first birthday on June 29th and we had a small, fun celebration. My parents and Wayne's parents were all here, as you can see by the photos. It was nice to have them all here. My cousin and his family came as well, but I didn't get a photo of them. We had pizza and birthday cake and ice cream followed by me "helping" Gabriel open his gifts.

It's so hard to believe that a year has gone by already! He is so much fun, almost a pro at walking now and jabbering a lot. I love his little baby language and wonder what he is trying to say. Sometimes it's very clear what he is trying to communicate when he gets mad or frustrated. He is definitely learning to assert his little will! He laughs a lot and is generally pretty happy and laid back.

He is eating well and growing so much! I'm not sure how tall he is, but I know it's over 30 inches and he weighs about 21 pounds. His favorite foods are tomatoes, blueberries, and ham, so far anyway. I think he eats tomatoes every day.

Gabriel is such a joy to have and we are so thankful to God for our little baby boy!

First Swim and First Steps!

Gabriel had his first swim last Friday afternoon at some friends' house from church. He seemed a little unsure at first and just kept looking at me with an expression that seemed to say "This is different, what are we doing?" He remained in this little float for the entire time and towards the end he was splashing the water quite a bit. We were only in the water for about an hour, with a break in the shade for part of that time. I didn't want him to get a sunburn. Even though I had lathered him with sunscreen, you never know how effective it will be.

Wayne got an early Father's Day present. On Saturday night, Gabriel took his first steps! This video was from last night. The one from Saturday wasn't so great, and Micah kept walking in front of the camera. He will take some steps here and there, usually about 3 or 4 and then collapse while giggling. It won't be long though, before he will be toddling everywhere!

Zach's graduation

My three handsome nephews

My immediate family minus spouses and kids

Zach with his Dad and Mom

My brother's son Zachery graduated from high school last month. It was so hard to believe! Eighteen years have gone by so quickly. I have so many memories of cute things he said and did when he was a baby. I also love the fact that he and I took a couple of road trips together for holidays and that he came to visit me when he was just a little boy when I lived in east Texas. He was the first grandchild and nephew for many years until my sister had her sons. He was the ringbearer in our wedding almost 8 years ago and was so cute and doted on by many who were there. I don't have a scanner yet, so I can't post the cute picture of him when he was 10 in his little tuxedo! Someday, I will get up with the times and get a scanner.

Zach is very smart and sweet. It will be fun to see how he continues to grow as a young man as he prepares for college and life in the "real world."

Going back to Mother's Day

Thomas, Kim, and my sweet nephews Harrison and Benjamin

on the stage with the pastor

I'm a little late in posting this from Mother's Day. We had Gabriel's baby dedication at church. Mom and Dad were here as well as my sister Kim and her family. It was nice to spend Mother's day with my Mom for the first time in nine years!

The dedication was very quick. Our church only does baby dedication one Sunday a year, which was unusual to us. There were about 25 other babies and families, so they moved us through quickly. We didn't have Micah in for that time because we weren't sure how it would go. The waiting in line to move through would have been too hard for him, so we went to get him afterwards for the family picture. The one that the photographer took turned out fairly well because we are all looking at the camera. I don't have a scanner or I would post that one.

The Powdered Sugar Incident

This happened last Thursday. This mess topped all three from the day before. I had gotten home from picking up Micah at school. I got him out of the car first and then went back to get Gabriel as I always do. I immediately went to change Gabriel’s diaper and Micah had gone into his room which I thought nothing of. Apparently, I left the pantry door open in the kitchen, once again. As I was coming out of my room I glanced in Micah’s room and saw him sitting in his bean bag chair, dumping powdered sugar out of the bag. He had already dumped it all over his bed, all over the carpet, all over his toys, and all over himself. He was also enjoying the taste because he was smacking his lips.

I didn’t get mad or frustrated, just sighed in exasperation “OHHH Micah!” Then I started the task of cleaning up which took about half an hour. Before I cleaned up, I decided to take a few pictures. I knew that one day, I will look back at these photos and laugh hysterically. I accidentally deleted one photo that was a good shot of Micah, but you get the gist by seeing these few.

Three messes in one day

Yesterday was a messy day at the Womack household. I had gotten a rose on Mother’s Day at the baby dedication and it was sitting on top of the entertainment center where I thought it was out of reach. Wrong. I was back in the bedroom for just a few seconds yesterday morning and heard a crash. I ran into the living room and discovered some picture frames knocked off as well as the rose in the vase on it’s side with water dripping off the entertainment center, on to the TV and on to the floor.

Just the day before, Wayne was helping me with changing Gabriel’s diaper (he’s getting quite wiggly and strong). When we finished, I came into the living room to discover Micah playing with my bouquet of flowers (also from Mother’s Day) on its side, with water and bits of flowers everywhere.Apparently, I had left the pantry door open long enough for Micah to discover a bag of rice. It had a twist tie on it which he somehow managed to get off. While I was feeding Gabriel, Micah had happily dumped the rice on the floor.

The last thing was my wedding bouquet. It was in a plastic box which was taped on both ends. Micah found it in his closet ( I had also mistakenly left this door open). I saw him with it but thought there was no harm since it was taped. I suppose he rattled and shook it so much that tiny fragments of flowers were scattered all over his bed and in his floor and in a few other places, all with the box taped and never completely opened!

It’s so hard to not get frustrated with him or lash out angrily and raise my voice in these situations. Then, I have to remind myself that he doesn’t know he is doing anything wrong. He loves water and he loves flowers…knocking the flowers over was about getting to both. He loves plastic and different textures…the rice was about that. I’m sure they have rice bins at school for the kids to play in. I want to say to him, and sometimes do, “What are you doing?!” or “Why are you doing that?!!” I’m sure it makes perfect sense in his mind. I need to remember to pray in the moment when something like these instances happen, to ask the Father for help in responding gently and lovingly.

Where do I start?

Well, it has been a while! So sorry for the two of you who check every day to see if I’ve posted! Okay, maybe there’s more than two. Anyway, a lot has happened and I won’t be posting all of it today! Since I last wrote, we’ve had both sets of grandparents and my sister and her family came to visit. The stomach virus also visited and started with me, then Micah (poor kid was out of school for a week!) and then Wayne had it for a couple of days. Thankfully, Gabriel did not get it!

Since I last posted, Micah had the MRI and did very well with the whole process. His neurologist said there were no changes except those consistent with Tuberous Sclerosis. When I asked what that meant, he said there were some areas that looked like scar tissue that can sometimes develop which can cause mild seizures. He still has seizures on occasion; they are so mild that you have to be watching very closely or at just the right moment to know it’s happening. So, overall, that was good news about the MRI.

I know many of you have prayed diligently for Micah since he was a baby, and we are always thankful. I also know that many have prayed specifically since I asked for that in March when he was having such extreme meltdowns/tantrums for about two weeks. Thank you for that as well. We haven’t seen anything like that since that time. We have figured out that he is sometimes very bothered by the dishwasher and other loud noises (lawnmowers, hair dryers), so these noises will upset him. It’s such a process trying to figure out why he gets upset, but things have been so much better!

9 month photo shoot

It’s hard to believe that Gabriel turned 9 months old on Sunday! I found this denim shirt that was Micah’s and decided to dress him in it. I couldn’t resist a quick photo shoot. The brown recliner makes a nice background. He is getting so animated. He chuckles easily and is quick to get mad when we take something away that he wants to have or chew on that he shouldn’t. He has 5 teeth with a 6th on it’s way soon. He is crawling but hasn’t quite mastered it. He does the “army crawl” a lot and sometimes will make a few crawling motions only to lunge at something and then flop down on his belly. It’s so cute. He is moving all over the place and has discovered some of the electronics and the Cds. He managed to get one open that was a little loose in the case and started to chew on it. That's not so cute.

Birthday Fun

For Micah’s 4th birthday, we decided to brave Chuck E. Cheese’s pizza/crazy kid’s place. Micah had never been there and we weren’t sure how he would respond to it; we were afraid that it might be too noisy and overwhelming for him. We wanted to do something that might be fun for him so we were glad that he really seemed to enjoy it and wasn’t affected by the noise at all. He loved the Barney ride the most, even though he has no idea who Barney is. His favorite thing to do was to run around in all the open space with Wayne following close behind. Grandma and Grandpa Womack were with us, but I didn’t get photos of everyone. Gabriel even liked the place and was mesmerized by the fake band (Chuck E. Cheese and all his pals) that “plays.”

Micah is sporting his St. Patrick’s Day birthday shirt which says “Lucky and Charming”.
Thank you for praying for him. The last two weeks have been much better with very few meltdowns. He has had good days at school. So, we’re not sure what was going on for those two weeks before the last update, but things are going well and have been much more peaceful. He hasn’t felt well the past few days, so he has been a little irritable and a little less tolerant of Gabriel. Otherwise, he has been easier to handle. We haven’t heard yet whether he will get the MRI any sooner.

Update and prayer requests

This will be a repeat if you got an email from us. I'm never sure who reads our blog and/or if those same people are on our email update list.

It has been a while since I’ve updated about Micah, and I have meant to for a month or so and now it seems important. Not that it hasn’t been important, but things have gotten quite stressful in the last couple of weeks so I feel an urgency to ask for prayer.

Micah has been having some major tantrums/meltdowns/fits (take your pick) for the past couple of weeks. It has been almost daily with the exception of one or two days. He gets upset often in mornings as we are all getting ready for the day and in the evenings just before bedtime. His teacher at Kids First says his meltdowns at school are becoming more frequent and lasting longer. He cries, screams, and often thrashes around when we try to hold him or contain him. He was having such a hard time on Wednesday that the school called me to come pick him up mid morning. Sometimes it seems (though we aren’t sure) that it’s noise bothering him (the TV, the stereo, etc.) because he will bang on the TV or push it with his hands (and would push it off the entertainment center were there not a wall preventing it). Other times it is outside when the wind hits his ears. The nurses at his school have checked his ears often and I’ve taken him to the Dr. who all concluded that there was no ear infection. So, I’ve called his new pediatric neurologist and am waiting to hear back. Wayne and I are very concerned and are wondering if something might be going on internally, either beyond an ear infection or if something might be happening with the tubers (growths) in his brain.

I’m trying not to be anxious and worry about it as Scripture says (Philippians 4:-6 and 7), but it’s hard. It’s so hard to see your child so upset and not know why. Dr. Raja (his Dr. out in San Francisco) had told us that kids with Tuberous Sclerosis often exhibit behavioral problems and it may be that we are just now seeing that happen in a major way. There have been times that Micah has been hard to deal with in the past few years, but he has generally been a happy kid, and you know this if you’ve been around him.

We saw Micah’s new pediatric neurologist on March 2 at Arkansas Children‘s Hospital in Little Rock. It was an hour and twenty minute wait in the waiting room before we got in to see Dr. El Nabbout and Micah was no longer in a happy mood. He was too upset for the Dr. to examine him so he just asked us a lot of questions. We liked him, but he seemed a little too laid back to me. I think we will always compare other doctors to Dr. Raja because he was so good, caring, and really took his time with patients. He said that Micah will need to have an MRI of his brain and ultrasounds on his kidneys, heart, and possibly other organs once every three years after the next ones. The MRI is supposed to happen in six months, but we are pushing to get it sooner.

It was actually a good thing that Micah had a meltdown in front of the doctor. He is referring him to a developmental center connected with the hospital to be seen by a behavioral specialist. He thinks Micah may have a mild to moderate level of autism. We have been told there is a long waiting list to get into this center, so pray that it won’t take too long!
Gabriel is doing well, he has been sick for the past two days, but is on the mend, I think. He is doing a great job pivoting around with his arms on the floor and rolling everywhere. Crawling is probably not too far away. He has four teeth now, two on the bottom and two on the top. He laughs easily and is getting quite active.

I wrote most of this yesterday while Micah was at school and he had a good day…not a single meltdown!

So, if you are still reading, please pray for the following:

-Micah’s tantrums to decrease for his well being and ours, and so that he can benefit from his preschool
-for the MRI to be scheduled soon, in case that might reveal a reason for his behavior
-the process to get into the developmental center won’t be too long
-patience for Wayne and me as we care for and love him
-wisdom and patience for his teacher and caregivers at school as they deal with him
-please pray for me on Sunday morning, I’m running the Little Rock half marathon and I haven’t felt well today. Pray that I feel well Sunday morning and have strength and endurance for 13.1 miles!

We would love to know how to pray for you as well.

Gabriel babbles