Two Tall and One Small and One Even Smaller Womack

Happenings lately

2012-01-25T14:04:00.000-08:00

We had a follow up visit with Micah's pediatric neurologist at ACH in Little Rock last week. Most of the appointment we discussed seizure medications and it was decided that Micah would start on a medicine that he took as an infant which was pretty successful in stopping seizures then. He has been on 3 anti-seizure meds and has continued to have one or two seizures per day and they have gotten stronger in recent months, so strong that if he is standing he almost always falls to the ground. The most negative potential side effect of this med is loss of peripheral vision. But, the percentage of cases in which that has happened is so small, the Dr. and we decided it's worth trying again. When he was a baby and started this particular med, it was almost as if a fog had been lifted from his brain and within a few days his seizures stopped. So, we are praying it will be effective again. When he was on this as a baby, his sleep was disturbed. He would be awake anywhere from an hour to 3 hours in the middle of the night. It happened so much that Wayne and I rotated nights. We are praying that doesn't happen this time!

Gabriel is doing well over all but is a little sick right now. He started complaining about his ear hurting yesterday so I gave him some ibuprofen. An hour and a half later he started crying off and on and was saying "I want some medicine!" I told him I couldn't give anymore right then so he said "I want someone to help me feel better!" crying as he was saying it. So I took him to the urgent clinic last night and the doctor said his ear was very infected. He has had fever and some vomiting too, but with a strong antibiotic he is already feeling better.

I have slacked in posting photos from Christmas. I can't believe it's already been a month! I have pics from my new phone that I have to figure out how to get on here and some from the camera.

Hide and Seek

2012-01-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

Last night I played hide and seek with Gabriel. He doesn't quite understand exactly how it works because he wanted to tell me where to hide and also where he would hide. So, I had to briefly give him the rules. Micah wanted in on the action too, he followed me around everywhere, thus giving away my hiding spot. But that made it so fun because he would laugh hysterically at my hiding places and then I would laugh at him laughing. I would also say to him "Help me find Gabriel! Is he in here?!" And he would sometimes say "Ah!" almost like he was trying to help or maybe he was just excited.

That's one of my favorite things about Micah. He finds amusement in the simplest things. One day last week he was lying on his bed and pulled his comforter over him and I said "It's not night-night time, silly!" and would pull it off of him. He thought that was so funny and would do it over and over. I probably did that 15 times or so before his enthusiasm wore off.

Adventures, or is it hilarity?

2012-01-11T08:47:00.000-08:00

I almost hesitated to share these stories about Gabriel, but they are just too funny. One day, he will laugh too. We have been working on potty training for months and it is just going so slowly. However, he is doing well with going to pee, even on his own. We have been putting underwear on him (as opposed to a pull up) for a few hours in the mornings. While we were in OK, we even got a little brave and left them on to go out to his grandparents' farm. As soon as we got there he was acting like he needed to pee and so his Aunt Nel told him that he could pee outside, that he didn't have to have a bathroom. He said he did not need to go but in five minutes he did, in his pants, soaking his jeans, and shoe. Then he looked at us and said, "You're right, I can pee outside!" Not exactly what we had in mind.

We have had this purple car sitting on top of the pantry for months now as incentive for him to go number 2 in the potty. He knows about it, knows what he needs to do to get it, etc.
One morning last week he had been doing great going to the bathroom and so I told him to just let me know if he needed to go poop and that I would come and help him. Less than ten minutes later, he waddles in the living room telling me he had gone in his underwear. With a sigh, I took him into the bathroom and starting cleaning him up. Then, I starting praying out loud. "Lord Jesus, would you please put it in this child's head to want to go to the potty, understand what he needs to do, not be scared, or whatever." Not even thinking about him listening to me, he says "Momma, will Jesus help me get the purple car?"

One of my favorite things

2011-12-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things about our city is that they make Creekmore park beautiful with Christmas lights just after Thanksgiving. I really only took a few pictures. It is a large park and they really go all out. The boys loved the lights and we enjoyed walking around and looking at them all and then ended our time by playing on the playground.

Only by the grace of God

2011-12-19T08:39:00.000-08:00

There are some days when I get to the end of the day and I'm thankful that our boys have been kept from obvious danger. I'm sure most mothers think that way, but my boys are just rowdy and do things that scare me sometimes. With Micah, it goes with the territory. He just doesn't understand boundaries of any kind, whether that's walking out in the street or toward a car, etc. We don't let him out of our sight for that very reason, but on occasion there are moments when it's hard to avoid if even for a few seconds. He is very strong and even if I am holding onto him, he will sometimes try and maneuver out of my grasp. He loves climbing these days, and that may be on the table, on the couch, or any high surface. He is also in to sticking things in his ear. One day I absent mindedly left a pair of scissors on the counter and turned around just in time to snatch them out of his hands as he was about to put them in his ear! We are careful to put knives and anything sharp up in high places.

Gabriel has become mister independent, wanting to do almost everything by himself (except for the things we want him to do by himself!). This includes walking out in a parking lot. He does not want us to hold his hand and sometimes will act like he is being tortured if we try and hold his hand. He also loves to climb and jump from high places.

As I think about these boys, I'm reminded that I'm not alone and that the Father is watching out for them and Wayne and myself as we parent them. Psalm 121 talks about the LORD being our keeper and there are many references in Scripture to being protected. Sometimes children aren't protected from harm and I don't understand why; that's a whole other theological discussion. For now, I have to submit my fears and worries and believe that He is a good Father. He is my Help and my Shield.

Simple Christmas tree

2011-12-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

Micah found some beads to play with

We had fun decorating our tree; Gabriel loved decorating it and you can probably tell which ornaments he hung. We've had our tree up for a little over a week now, and amazingly, it has only been taken down once. And by taken down, I mean knocked over by Micah. We've had this pre-lit tree for a couple of years, and while I miss the smell of a real tree, this is the best thing for us. We always start with as many ornaments as we have, which is not many, because we know they won't stay on the tree for long.

As I mentioned in the previous post, Micah loves anything in the plant, flower, or tree families, artificial or not. So, he loves to spin our tree around and if we aren't fast enough to stop him, results in it being knocked to the floor. The ornaments that survive the fall which may be breakable just don't go back on the tree. I can't imagine having a real tree now; there would be pine needles covering the floor. After the tree was knocked over I debated whether it was worth fighting with Micah to try and keep him from spinning it and I eventually decided it is. We usually only have it for a couple of weeks before it's time to pack up and go visit our families. Then we have to keep him from their trees! I love Christmas trees, even if ours is void of anything but lights. In fact, last Sunday I noticed a couple of small Christmas trees in our church sanctuary. I said to Wayne "Hey, those look like our tree, they only have lights." He replied "See, we know how to decorate for Christmas after all. Simple, but elegant."

Yard helpers

2011-12-09T12:02:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday we spent a couple of hours raking leaves in our backyard. Gabriel was so excited to help rake leaves for the first time. He actually did help some. Micah loved picking the leaves up and dumping them all over himself as you can see. He is really into this phase of picking anything outside, whether it's leaves, weeds, grass, dirt, etc. and either dumping it/them on his head or taking a handfull and raking it over the side of his head like he is brushing his hair with whatever it is. It's strange, but just one of those phases he is in which will pass in weeks or months, hopefully.

Micah actually helped put leaves in the bags some, but then at other times would take leaves out that we had just put in. He and Gabriel both loved to come tromping through once I had a big pile gathered. Though it could have been frustrating, we actually had fun and enjoyed seeing the boys have so much fun. At some point Micah carried off 2 right handed gloves and we think may have put them in one of the leaf bags which we didn't notice. We realized there were two missing and they were nowhere to be found, so that was the only explanation. We ended up with 14 bags of leaves and probably could have filled up as many more.

Early 40th celebration

2011-11-21T14:03:00.001-08:00

Last weekend we went to Fort Worth for the weekend to celebrate Wayne's 40th birthday a little early. He has always wanted go to an NFL game, particularly the Cowboys so I planned it a little in advanced, worked it out with his boss so that he could be off part of the day on Friday and all day on Monday so that we would have plenty of time. I got the tickets early (a gift from his parents, sisters, and me) and had them sent to Janel's house. It was supposed to be a surprise, but he figured it out as soon as I told him we were going somewhere. He's too smart. Of course, it helped that I forgot to clear out my search history on the computer!

We stayed with Janel and had a great time visiting with her. We got to visit with Betty on Saturday, who is one of my dearest friends. It's always good to see her and there is never enough time! Sun. evening we visited with Amy (another of my dearest friends) and her family. Gabriel had a great time playing with Audrey. I'm always amazed at how quickly he makes friends and wants to play with other kids. It was the first time for us to see each other's kids!

Sunday Wayne and I went to the Cowboys game and really enjoyed it. Janel graciously took care of the boys while we were there. Our seats were up very high, but still not bad, especially with the massive Jumbo tron. We bought some really pricey ultimate nachos and I was ultimately wishing later that I hadn't gotten them. : ) The Cowboys blew out the Bills, winning 44-7. We picked a good game to go to.

On Monday as we were leaving, we went slightly out of our way so that we could go to In N Out Burger. That was our favorite fast food burger place in CA and we had heard that there had been some built in D/FW area. It did not disappoint!

MOPS playdates

2011-11-10T11:25:00.001-08:00

These are pictures from a couple of MOPS playdates we've had this fall. We went to tour one of the firestations in Fort Smith. There are 10 firestations in this city, which was surprising to me, but good to know. Gabriel loves anything having to do with firetrucks, firemen, etc. What's interesting about him is that sometimes he doesn't want to get too close when it comes to actually seeing something in person. He was a little scared of the firemen and didn't want to get any closer to the firetruck than the one picture I have with him standing in front. We were actually supposed to see it up close, but they got a call in the middle of our tour and about half the men had to leave. We moms asked a lot of questions while the kids (mostly boys) wanted to look at the many toy firetrucks, rescue trucks, and other related toys in the glass cases. Out of all the moms, I got to put on the firesuit and had my picture taken by a man from the Fort Smith newspaper. He took many pictures and the one that ended up in the paper was not that great. He even took one of me with all the kids and that wasn't the one that was selected, which was disappointing.

We went to the Wild Things Farm again and it was one of the coldest days we've had, but it did warm up. Gabriel loves going to this place. He was not interested in sliding down their homemade slide but was happy to stand at the top and watch the other kids go down. Next week we are going to one of the local pizza places to learn how they make pizzas. That should be fun!

We've come a long way!

2011-11-03T08:29:00.000-07:00

As November rolled in, I have been reminded of this season of Thanksgiving. Not that we should only be thankful in November or on Thanksgiving day, but every day for lots of things. I recently read a book called "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp and it has impacted me greatly. It's basically an incredibly, creatively written book about giving thanks in all things whether small or great. The writer was challenged by a friend to began recording things she is grateful for, daily, at various moments as they came to her mind. So, she in turn challenges her readers to do the same. I have started this in a journal separate from my other journal (which I very sporadicly write in). I may post more about this book in later blog entries, but this is one of the things she said that most impacted me. She writes "In this counting gifts, one thousand, more, I discover that slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything in my life leaves me deeply thankful for very few things in my life. A lifetime of sermons on 'thanks in all things' and the shelves sagging with books on these things and I testify:life-changing gratitude does not fasten to a life unless nailed through with one very specific nail at a time."

The last picture is one of the things I am grateful for. Of course, I am grateful for all three of those guys and love them more than I can say. But, I am so thankful how far Micah has come in adjusting to Gabriel. The first picture was in the hospital the day after Gabriel was born. You can see the tears in Micah's eyes. I cannot describe to you how hard the first several weeks and months of Gabriel's life were for Micah, for me, maybe even Wayne. I think Micah did not know what Gabriel was or why he was suddenly in our home. He cried so much and at times would even hit me while I was holding Gabriel. I remember talking to my dear friend Stacey on the phone just days after he was born and questioning whether we had made the right decision to have another baby. I felt like it was almost too much. She had lots of wisdom and encouragement to give and prayed for me as we talked. The days and weeks were hard, especially after moving to a new place with no friends and Micah spent a lot of time alone in his room when Gabriel wasn't sleeping. The middle picture shows Gabriel lying on his little blanket with toys hanging down. He was purposely put in front of the Christmas tree because that's the only way we could keep Micah away from the tree. We called Gabriel the Christmas tree guard; maybe it was cruel but it worked!

Now, Micah willing gives Gabriel bedtime hugs and will occasionally play with Gabriel. Sometimes Gabriel will pull him by the shirt to take him in his room. Sometimes Micah is okay with this and not at other times. We are trying to teach Gabriel to be respectful of him and understand if Micah doesn't want to play.

There are still some things with Micah that are stressful, but this is one area that has gotten so much better. And I am thankful.

Micah is Superman!

2011-11-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

On Halloween day, Micah's class had a party at one of his classmates' home. The teacher invited Gabriel and me to come, so we did. I was so proud of Micah for wearing and tolerating his Superman costume. I wanted to be creative, but ended up going the easy way and got a Superman costume. I knew I had to find something without a hat or a mask. I found the Superman costume on sale so it was an easy decision! Gabriel told me four days before Halloween that he would NOT wear a costume, I believed him so I didn't get him one. He was fine with that and seemed to not be bothered in the least that he didn't wear one to the party or to our church's fall festival later that night.

The party was fun, especially for Gabriel. He had a great time playing with the other kids. Micah enjoyed roaming all over the yard looking for unsuspecting plants, weeds, and flowers to pull with me following behind trying to keep him from pulling said plants. Thankfully, the host (mom of Micah's classmate) was not bothered in the least and told me "Hey, flowers are for picking! There is nothing here he can harm!"

There was supposed to be bobbing for apples; that's the tub of water you see Micah and a couple of others playing in. The game was stopped after the second kid spit in the tub. They didn't seem disappointed that the game was called off. Micah had a great time jumping on their mini trampoline and was doing this while the other kids were "trick or treating" at the back door. Gabriel got to trick or treat for him and for Micah.

Later that evening we went to our church's fall festival which is a huge deal. Our church gives out free hot dogs, nachos, and candy galore to probably between 3,000 and 4,000 in the community. There are games set up on the parking lot and the trick or treating was inside in the children's building. Micah didn't last long, he was so tired that he just kept wanting to sit down. Wayne took him home probably ten minutes after we had gotten there. We had taken two vehicles for that reason. We never know how Micah will do in a situation so we are learning we need to do that so that Gabriel doesn't miss out on activities. We only had time to trick or treat and had to wait in line for quite a while just to do that. The food line was way too long afterwards so we came home. Gabriel had so much fun handing out candy to trick or treaters. I had to coach him because he was giving out handfulls of candy to gasping children. Even after I told him "Only two pieces to each." He would still give out too much. Oh well, it just meant we could turn out our porch light sooner.

Gabriel Conversations

2011-10-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

I know I am slacking in updating about recent events, but I thought it would be fun to post some things Gabriel has been saying lately.

"Momma, did you know that honey comes from bees?" He says I told him this but I don't remember if I did.
G:Momma, what do animals eat? Me: Which ones? G: Giraffes, elephants, ants, and gorillas.

All I could think of is what they eat at the zoo, and probably not what they eat in their natural habitats.

Last year he would see the president on TV and say "Obama!" One day recently he was walking around saying "Mitt. Mitt. Mitt Romney." I suppose he saw and heard his name on Good Morning America.

He likes to say "Does that sound ok with you?" Sometimes when we take Micah to speech/OT therapy Gabriel and I will go to McDonald's to play. So he might say in advance, "We can go to McDonald's. Does that sound ok to you?"

When he gets in trouble for something and we ask him why he did it. His favorite answer is "Because I did." I'm not sure he understands the why question yet.

Lately he likes to pretend we are in a restaurant and will say "What would you like to eat, suh (sir)?"

We are trying to potty train him but it's going very slowly and he is not very excited or willing. One day Wayne put underwear on him and after just a little while said "Now you tell us when you need to go potty." Gabriel replied "It's too late."

eventful days

2011-10-10T16:43:00.000-07:00

It has been an eventful couple of weeks with me having gone to Alaska and then Micah had a short hospital stay at Arkansas Children's. I'll get to the Alaska trip later and post some pictures though my selection of pictures is quite pitiful compared to some others took on our trip.

Probably most who read this are aware that we had a slightly scary situation with Micah week before last, but I will recap for those who didn't know about it. Wayne went into his room to wake him up that Thursday morning for school and found him unresponsive with a large amount of drool and mucus on his bed. He brought him to the couch and came to get me. He was convulsing and seemed like he was having a hard time breathing. Since we live close to the hospital, Wayne took him to the ER and I stayed here with Gabriel. We expected that he would be there for a few hours and then come home. He had 2 grand mal seizures and had a third once he got to the hospital. Since he had never had those, they wanted to be super cautious and send him to Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock. He and Wayne went by helicopter and I made arrangements for Gabriel to be taken care of for the day, packed, and headed to Little Rock. Thankfully, Wayne's parents were able to come over and take care of Gabriel later in the day and for the next two days.

The hospital here in Ft. Smith originally thought he had pneumonia but it turned out that wasn't the case. He was sick all that day, possibly from the helicopter ride. I was so glad my parents were able to come to the hospital and were with us until Micah was discharged on Saturday. By Thurs. night Micah was happy and at the same time annoyed by all the wires attached to him. It was a fight to try and keep everything attached. He was so happy to see Nana and Paw Paw. Wayne stayed with him both Thurs. and Fri. nights in the hospital room. At six years old, a lot of times he is too strong for me to handle when he gets upset or rambunctious. I am thankful he has a Daddy who is big and strong!

Friday afternoon Micah had an MRI to try and determine if there had been any changes to the growths in his brain, which might have explained a new kind of seizures and some of the behaviors we have seen. But, no. The MRI revealed no changes at all and no explanation for the seizures. Sometimes kids with Tuberous Sclerosis can develop new types of seizures as they get older. Now we have medication to take with us wherever we are so that if he has one of the grand mal seizures we can adminster that to stop it. Micah also had his eyes checked for tubers around and on the eye nerves (he hadn't had his eyes checked since we lived in CA) and they were completely fine.

By Friday night Micah was back to normal and really ready to be out of his hospital bed and it was a huge effort by Wayne, myself, and my parents to keep him there. He was upset, frustrated, crying, kicking, trying to jump out of bed, pulling at his IV, etc. He finally settled down around 10 pm and slept through the night. If the doctor hadn't offered to discharge him on Sat. morn, I think we would have begged!

We are thankful that what started out as a scary situation turned out to be just fine. I'm so thankful for parents/grandparents who are willing to help us and be with us during unexpected times when we need them. We also thank all of you who prayed for Micah.

prayer for Micah

2011-09-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

We've been having a really difficult time with Micah for several weeks now and we are asking for prayer for him. We thought that it was just that he needed routine, having been out of school for several weeks but he has now been in school for a month and should have adjusted by now. We have had lots of days of him just not being happy anywhere...home, school, or church. He has been aggressive at times, hitting and kicking his teacher and aides in the classroom and us at home as well. Sometimes he is just ornery; he will knock things off any surface, throw toys, or pull on our dining room chairs, etc. Sometimes when he does these things he just looks at you and laughs.

We have been trying to get his behavior medication worked out. One that he started in April seemed to really help but then perhaps lost its effectiveness in the summer. He has been on it but it seemed to really make him sleepy in the mornings and was not able to function at school so we took that away. We started a new med on Monday and it has not gone well. He has been even more hyper, constantly pacing, and not cooperative in the least, especially at school. His teacher cried yesterday and she has never done that. She just does not know what to do anymore. She said it seems like he is not the same Micah as last year. He is not willing to work on any goals or willing to be worked with one on one. She has been teaching for 35 years and she knows what she is doing. He has the same teacher and classroom as last year. They are having a hard time working with the other students because one of them (teacher and 2 aides) is having to be with Micah so much. They are fearful that he will hurt himself or someone else because he has been so rowdy.

We have also been doing a nutrition therapy with Micah and so far it's just that he's getting some supplements of protein, Omega 3s, and a high quality multivitamin. We have been doing this for about 6 weeks and haven't seen much improvement and his eating habits are not much better.

Probably the next step is for him to have a MRI of his brain to make sure there is nothing different going on with the growths there, etc. We were supposed to do that in December, but I think it may need to be sooner. I don't know that it will provide any answers, but it's worth a try.

I went to a seminar on Mon and Tues in Little Rock for the Picture Exchange Communication System. I know Micah's speech therapists both at school and the other clinic he goes to have been doing this some and we want to pursue it at home. I'm sure he is frustrated a lot about not being able to communicate much and we are desperate to try and communicate more with him.

I woke up a couple of times in the night thinking of my conversation with his teacher and just anxious, wishing we could find some solutions. I know Philippians 4:6-7 says "Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I know I'm not supposed to worry, but these days it is hard when we feel like we are trying so many things and not much is improving. All I know to do is to continue to trust and pray. I would be honored if you would join me.

One last thing, I am going to Alaska on a mission trip with my church, leaving this Saturday and coming back the following Saturday. I'm so excited about it. I must admit, I'm a little conflicted with everything going on with Micah, yet we have been planning this for months and have made arrangements for family to be here with him and Gabriel and to help Wayne. I would appreciate your prayers for this trip as well. I'm looking forward to seeing what God is up to in Alaska!

A couple of snippets

2011-09-02T12:43:00.000-07:00

I am loving Gabriel's mealtime prayer these days (it's been the same for several days) : "Thank you God for the food and we can have a good night's sweep and pway outside." The poor child doesn't get to play outside much because it's still so hot so I guess he feels the need to pray about it!

I took Micah to his dermagologist the other day because of a perpetual rash on his arms. She suggested we put vaseline on it and wrap it with saran wrap to see if that helps since what we've tried hasn't worked well. I sort of stared blankly at her all the while thinking that I might have a timer ready if and when we do it to see how long it stays on his arms.

She also commented on the bumps on his face (that sort of look like acne) that are characteristic of TSC and asked if he was about to go through puberty. I said "I sure hope not! He's only six!" She said "Oh my gosh, he looks so much older!"
He could pass for 8 or 9, but probably not 12 or 13!

Back from an unintentional blog break

2011-08-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

Micah's first day of school

Gabriel making Jello

Wow. It has been a long time since I last posted! There has been a lot of things going on and a lot of traveling. Most of it has been good, but it has honestly been a hard 6 weeks or so. Micah started back to school last week and has not really adjusted well. The teacher told me Friday that it was the worst day she'd ever had with Micah (this is her second year to have him in her class). He has been really difficult to control with a lot of smacking at adults, pulling on them (us) and even kicking. He was actully doing a lot of this in recent weeks. All we can make of it is that he has just been so out of routine and hasn't known what to do with himself. During June, he was in a half day summer school program so he at least had some sort of regularity. After that he was here every day and then we also traveled a few different places in July and early August. With having record heat here in Fort Smith, as high as 115 and never going below the 100s for a few weeks, there are few places to go in this town...especially with both of them by myself. I'm sure part of it has been complete boredom.

His teacher told me she thinks it may even take longer than a week for him to adjust back to the routine. He has also been waking in the middle of the night a few nights a week and not going back to sleep and then sometimes not even taking a nap later that day! I don't see how the kid does not fall over from exhaustion! We are consulting his Drs. for wisdom.

I will post some pictures and other news of our summer in the days to come.

similar situation

2011-07-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

One story in the book "Plan B" really impacted me because it was similar to our story. The difference was that this couple had already served on the mission field and had twins and their twins were born very ill. They survived but it was discovered after some months that they were both deaf. Their father was quoted as saying "This is not the way we thought parenting was going to look. This is not the way we thought ministry was going to look. This is not the way we thought life was going to work." I could relate to that. The author of the book follows that by saying:

"I think this is a difficult truth to grasp, but God loves you enough to strip you of anything that keeps you from him. And often these things that separate you are not bad in and of themselves. Often, in fact, they're good things-relationships, missions, jobs. But if for some reason they are keeping us from knowing God as we should, he may take them out of our lives." Then a few paragraphs later he says "Time and time again in your life you're going to feel as if God isn't showing up. You're going to feel as if God isn't healing, he isn't restoring, he isn't releasing his mighty power. These moments are crucial because God is trying to get you to the place where you can't handle things on your own, where you are willing to surrender your plans in order to receive his. He's trying to mature your faith."

I really think it was easy when I was in college, single, doing my own thing, traveling the world and the states serving in missions. I thought back then that my faith was growing. It was, and I will always be grateful for those days, for God's hand in places I lived, the opportunities I had, and the people he placed in my life in those days. I honestly feel though like he has grown my faith more in the past several years through marriage and through having kids, and having one with a disability to really grow my faith. He continues to do that.

Long but decent day at ACH

2011-07-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

Some of you know that we had three appointments at Arkansas Children's yesterday for Micah. The first one was for Nephrology (kidney specialist) because he had an ultrasound about 6 weeks ago that revealed numerous tubers in one of his kidneys. We had been told when he was a baby that this would be a strong possibility as he got older. These growths (angiomyolipomas) usually occur in about 60 percent of kids with TS. They aren't problematic unless they grow or get to a point of hindering kidney function. So, what we were told yesterday is that though Micah has many of these tubers in his kidney, they are very small and are not threatening at all at this point. We will just have to monitor the situation and see the specialist again in a year.

The hardest parts of the day were Micah getting blood drawn (it took Wayne, myself and two other nurses restraining him and another to stick him with the needle). He just didn't know what was going on and the kid is so strong already at 6 years old! We had to hold him down for the ultrasound as well. After those appointments, he was fine.

We saw his neurologist in the afternoon and actually got in to see him a little early, which was a blessing! We really like Dr. Sharp and have seen him several times now. He explains things very well, he talks about options (medications) and asks what we want to do rather than saying "this is what we'll do". He is very good with Micah too and I think Micah is comfortable around him. He said in December it will be time to do a MRI of his brain to check on the tubers there and at that time a neuro-opthamologist will check for growths in his eyes and nerves around his eyes. We haven't done that since we lived in California.

All in all, it was a good day with a good report about the kidney. Also for all the waiting around and shuffling to different places, Micah did well. We had some sweet friends who kept Gabriel for the day and that was a HUGE help to not have to shuffle him around as well.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Gabriel!

2011-06-29T13:11:00.000-07:00

Gabriel is three years old today, which doesn't seem possible. I think all mothers say that and I'm sure I will continue to say it as the years go by. I thought it would be fun to post some pics from the day of his birth and one recent one. By him having his feet in the sink, it's a perfect picture of a child acting his age. It was a few weeks ago and Wayne was occupying Micah while I cooked supper. Somehow Gabriel was left unattended and we found him in the bathroom with the sink filled with water. It was one of the moments when you get frustrated but you just have to laugh.

I have mentioned to some about the story of Gabriel's birth, not that it is all that unusual but it was a bit comical and had some unexpected twists as he came quickly (similar to Micah's birth). There was no time for an epidural or any other pain relieving medication though I had already decided I didn't want any. I'm kind of crazy like that. Anyway, I'm going to attempt to link the post because I wrote all about it on this blog 3 years ago.

Fun weekend

2011-06-16T15:37:00.001-07:00

Last weekend our dear friends Charley, Marianne, and Joshua came to visit for the weekend. We had so much fun! We went to eat tasty catfish on Friday night and Saturday afternoon we took the boys to the sprayground here in town. As you can tell from the pictures, Micah had a blast! He loves to go to this place and obviously doesn't even mind water sprayed right at his face or head. All three boys had so much fun. Sunday evening our church rented out a water park nearby so we all got to enjoy that as well. We enjoyed catching up with each other and Joshua and Gabriel had a great time playing with each other.

An attitude of gratitude

2011-06-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

From "Plan B"

"What if we viewed our hardships and challenges as opportunities to be the men or women God has created us to be? What would happen if we stopped grabbing for what we're owed and tried to receive each moment with gratitude?"

"What are the triggers that remind you of God's faithfulness throughout your life? Without these reminders, you will always be tempted to doubt, push back, or even walk away when you find yourself at the wall."

When I played basketball in high school and we were traveling back from an away game, someone would usually start the chant "Attitude check" and everyone would respond "One, two, three, Praise the Lord!" I guess it was a way of keeping perspective whether we won or lost.

Someone else wrote that staying in an attitude of despair or discontentment keeps you from seeing God's blessings in your life.
It's easy to get prideful and focus on something not going the way I want. All it takes is a reminder of God's faithfulness and who He is to give me an attitude check.

Teaching him how to pray

2011-06-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

This is the only photo I took at our Circle of Friends camp over Memorial Day weekend. We have some more that others took on a disc. I'll be posting some of those later in the week with some details about that weekend.

For now, I couldn't resist posting this photo. This prayer bench was outside our room in the hallway. Gabriel asked what it was so I told him it was one way you could pray to God and then I knelt down on it and showed him. So, he wanted to try it. Precious, isn't it?

Wild Things Farm Visit #2

2011-06-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

The horse was a little too close for Gabriel's comfort
Hayride

Feeding the goats stale popcorn

Gabriel and his friend Isaac

Pig race

Proud of his strawberries

A couple of weeks ago Gabriel and I went to the Wild Things Farm with our MOPS group. We had so much fun. It was a perfect, cool, cloudy day and we enjoyed a hayride, picking strawberries, petting the animals (well, I didn't pet them!), having a picnic lunch with some other moms and kids, and homemade strawberry icecream just before we left.

Gabriel did a good job picking strawberries. I had to teach him to look for ones that were red and not too small. They were so tasty and only lasted in our house for about two days. The ones you buy in the store just don't compare!

Sometime I want to take Micah to this place; he has been in school both times we've gone. Blueberries are in season now...yum!!

God is working

2011-06-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more gems from "Plan B":

"When our plans, dreams, and desires crumble, our faith tends to take a hit. We instantly feel let down and distant from our Heavenly Father. And yet the truth is that God is most powerfully present even when he seems most apparently absent. He's always working. Even when we can't see Him or feel Him, all the circumstantial evidence of our lives will testify to His presence."

"Just because God calls you to some venture, that doesn't guarantee the venture will succeed. Just because life doesn't turn out the way you thought that doesn't mean you missed God's will...it's as much about the person we're becoming as it is about where we're going."

"We think our suffering is a sign that we're getting something wrong, not evidence that God is at work to teach us and bring us blessing."

"In this life, many questions will not have answers....God will never change. This is why our faith must rest on his identity and not necessarily his activity."

Throughout the last few years, I occasionally wondered if we missed God's will or if we got something wrong because things didn't turn out the way we thought. I know it's distorted and wrong. He allowed everything to happen for a reason. I may never have answers as to why, but I do want to allow him to shape me and grow me.

John chapter 9 is a good reminder when we wonder if sin causes illness. A rabbi asks Jesus if the man born blind sinned or if his parents sinned. Jesus said "Neither this man sinned nor his parents." "This came about so that God's works might be displayed in him..."

Betty's 80th

2011-05-26T11:36:00.000-07:00

Co-workers from Harris Hospital

Betty with grandkids and great-grandkids

the whole family minus Tucker

Last month I was so glad to go to Fort Worth to celebrate Betty's 80th birthday! Anybody who knows me well has heard me talk about Betty. She is one of the dearest friends I have and has been for 22 years! We worked together at Harris Hospital in downtown Fort Worth. I was just 18 when we met and we developed a great friendship. We have seen many movies together, enjoyed all kinds of food together, been on road trips, shared stories of our families, prayed for each other, and have laughed so much. Her love for Jesus and God's Word inspired me early on in our friendship to want to know Him more. I have learned so much about life as well as loving and serving God and others through my friendship with her. She is the kind of person who knows how to bring out the best in anyone.

I've been blessed to know all 3 of her kids, watch her grandkids grow up and get married and have kids of their own. It is maybe what some would call an unlikely friendship, since there is a 40 year age difference, but I'm thankful to God for our friendship all of these years and that we have been able to maintain it despite living hundreds and even thousands of miles from each other for a good portion of the time we've known each other.

Thoughts on the book "Plan B"

2011-05-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

One of the most impactful books I've ever read is a book called "Plan B" by Pete Wilson. I actually read it several months ago and have been slowly journaling about it over the past few months. So, I thought that I would post about something from the book that affected me for the next several weeks.

The subtitle of the book is "What do you do when God doesn't show up the way you thought he would". It's essentially about any circumstance that may have changed one's life in some capacity: loss of job, loss of loved one, miscarriage, illness, etc.

Of course for us, the major life-changing circumstance was Micah's diagnosis of Tuberous Sclerosis. It changed the direction of our lives and showed us that we don't always know what God has in store, even if we plan in certain ways and think we know.

So here are the first two quotes:
"Our trials of life seem to chip away at us, leaving us exhausted, confused, and vunerable. We resign ourselves to the fact that things simply are the way they are and there is no hope that they will ever be any different. Feeling hopeless, we either run, taking things into our own hands, or we give up instead of waiting on God to act."

"Control is an illusion-we don't like being reminded of that. We want to win, be right, and do it our way-this powerful desire leaks into our marriages, our jobs, our parenting. The only thing you do control is how you respond to your disappointments and your unexpected obstacles. You can allow the river of fear, anger, and disappointment to just rage-that will affect every relationship you touch, every job, every plan you dream."

I can say that I haven't always responded well to the disappointments and unexpected obstacles. I think I am continually learning how to deal with fear and anger. I think that I have learned over the past 5 and a half years that giving up control is a process and a continual way of growing in my faith.

Fun Conversations

2011-05-17T18:52:00.000-07:00

Last night after Gabriel's bath I was commenting on how long his fingernails and toenails were. He said "My nose is getting long too."

"Are you Pinocchio?" I said, realizing he doesn't even know who that is.

"NO! I not nocchio!"

We have not planted our garden yet because it has been too muddy from all the rain. Tonight Gabriel informed us that in his garden he is going to plant tomatoes, cantelope, hamburgers, and a taco tree. Sounds tasty to me!

Mother's Day past and present

2011-05-16T11:43:00.001-07:00

May 2011

getting both to look at the camera is rare

travel mug & coffee!

May 2009 baby dedication day & Mother's day

Micah 2005 with some of my favorite treats

I know I missed posting last week and didn't keep my word of posting at least once a week...maybe I'll make up for it this week. I thought it would be fun to post pictures of past mother's day (the boys' first mother's day pics and this year). The last one of Micah "holding" my treats is so cute. We had to prop him up for the pic. Wayne found some of my favorite treats; cream of wheat was expensive in San Francisco, so we didn't buy it much!

In 2009, I think I'm wearing my Mother's Day gift. It was baby dedication day at our church. This year, I got a nice Starbuck's travel mug and one of my favorite Starbuck's coffee blends, Gold Coast. It's in two plastic containers because Micah immediately carried the bag of coffee off, threw it on the ground, and it busted. Those bags are usually a little sturdier than that. I think it spilled about $1.50 worth of coffee!

I tried to get a picture with both of them, and you see what came of it. And just ignore that weird pose of the one with Gabriel and me. I was trying to hold on to him and keep my balance, thus the strange angle of my arm against the tree. You probably wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't pointed it out!

We missed celebrating Mother's Day with either of our mothers. For now, UAFS has commencement on Mother's Day weekend, and that is Wayne's big responsiblity so we cannot travel on that weekend. I had a good Mother's Day. It was so cute to watch Gabriel. He was so excited to bring me my gift that morning, though I think he thought he was going to get a "presinent" because Wayne kept coaching him "Don't open it, Gabriel. Just take it to Mommy."

I will say these are challenging days with Gabriel being in the trying twos (I hate to say terrible), with temper tantrums, and really wanting to assert his will. Micah has been doing much better with his behavior, but is very much in a don't-want-to-be-around-Gabriel stage. It makes life challenging because Gabriel can be a little attention hog and if Micah is sitting with one of us and Gabriel comes near, he will just go away. Micah really enjoys one on one attention and it's just not easy to do that right now.

Even with the challenges, I'm so thankful for my boys and love them more than I can say. One of my dearest friends in the world has been pregnant twice and miscarried both times, the second one was lost in the 2nd trimester. She has not been able to get pregnant again. I interacted with two families over the weekend who have both lost a child in the last year. One was a 2 year old boy with leukemia and the other was a 5 year old girl who died suddenly from brain cancer that they didn't even know was there. It certainly gives me perspective to think "Yes, some moments and days are frustrating and very draining with my boys, but at least I have them and I need to treasure these days no matter how difficult."

Gabriel's chattering

2011-05-03T11:31:00.000-07:00

It's been so fun and fascinating to watch Gabriel's language develop. Since we haven't been able to see that with Micah, it's been really interesting with Gabriel...just amazing how much he picks up from people talking, TV, and from other kids. He's pretty much speaking in complete sentences and even starting to ask questions like "What are you doing, Momma?" or "What are you making?"

We have a rosebush in front of our house right beside the garage. For a couple of weeks he wanted to stop and smell them every time we got into or out of the car. And he would want me to stop and smell them too. He said they smell like strawberries and for a couple of days he

was calling them strawberry roses. The other day I was making chocolate chip cookies and he said "What's that?"

I said "It's flour."

"Like the roses, Momma?"

"No, it's a different kind of flour."

He has picked things up from TV that I have heard him say out of the blue: "like a good neighbor... (State Farm...)", "ABCnews.com", and last week in Wal-Mart I happened to pass the yogurt section and commented about Activia and he started singing very loudly "Activia!!!" over and over. A while back we were at the Fort Smith Museum of History and there were pictures of the presidential inauguration and he pointed and said "Obama!"

He is already starting to tell us things that Micah wants or doesn't want which sometimes is good and not so good at other times. He also knows what all the traffic lights mean. He will ask "What red light means, Momma? What green light means? What yellow light means?" He knows the answers and if I happen to turn right on red, he notices and will say "Momma, you're supposed to stop!"

I could've included more, but that's a good start for now. You never know what that boy will say!

a few Easter photos

2011-04-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

These were the things our boys were excited about that were in their Easter baskets. We just had a couple of toys and some candy in each of their baskets. Gabriel was so excited about his hotwheels and candy (he had some as he was smiling). I could not get a photo of Micah looking at me. He was too thrilled about his fake Easter grass. He carried it all over the house, scattering it and giggling as he walked along. I'm sure we'll be finding pieces of it for weeks to come.

We didn't have a nice family pic of the four of us in our dressy Easter clothes. For one, a picture of the four of us has to be strategically planned. Also, we have not gotten into the tradition of buying new clothes for Easter, and I'm not sure we ever will. Not that there is anything wrong with doing that, we just never started it. At some point, I do want to get a shirt and tie for the boys because they haven't had one, and take some photos. I know they would look so cute!

Fun at the zoo

2011-04-18T11:33:00.001-07:00

I'm backtracking a little bit, but these were pictures from our trip to the Tulsa zoo a few weeks ago. We met Grandma & Grandpa over there and were unpleasantly surprised by the very cool temperatures for a late March day. We were quite chilly for a little while, but it was bearable with jackets. We had a great time. We weren't sure how Micah would do with so much open space, flowers, and other vegetation. We thought it might be a long day of chasing him and trying to keep him from grabbing at things that were meant to stay on the zoo grounds. He really did well. He didn't seem all that fascinated with the animals. He is still just indifferent to them.

Gabriel loved looking at all the animals, but his favorite part was playing on the playground. He loves the little wooden truck. Micah enjoying riding in the wagon for some of the day, and that was helpful once he got tired of walking. I really only took one picture of an animal, and it was the river otter. It was swimming in its little pool until Micah starting making his "eeeee" noise. Then it stood up and was looking all around as if it were trying to figure out what the noise was.

Micah loved riding the train and was giggling almost the whole time. He also loved riding the carousel, but the train seemed to be his favorite thing.

Oh, go fly a kite

2011-04-14T10:48:00.001-07:00

we managed to get it in the air

This is what happens when you try to multi-task

Last Tuesday we had a playdate with some other moms and kids from our MOPS group and we went to a park in town to fly kites. I think that was the first time I had ever flown a kite! It was fun for me and fun for Gabriel for about 2 minutes. He had fun playing with the other kids. The weather here has been nearly perfect and I am enjoying it while it lasts because I know it will be so hot and humid in about a month or less!

Yes, I did get the kite caught in the tree. I was trying to hold the kite and take a picture of Gabriel at the same time. It didn't work so well. I had to break the string to get the kite out of the tree, but there was plenty of string left.

Birthday part 2

2011-04-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

Gabriel "driving" with Aunt Nel

Two of his favorites for the evening

Wow. I guess all I have to do is whine a little bit about not having readers and I get comments! Thanks for letting me know that you read and check the blog frequently. I apologize, I really didn't expect that very many people read it. I'm a little more motivated now to update. I'm not going to promise every day; that's not realistic for me. But, I will try to post at least once a week, maybe more now.

In the last picture, Micah is holding a bunch artificial reeds or something that Grandma sent in his birthday package because she knew he would like it. He loved it. He is really into weeds, flowers, herbs, trees, etc. He loves being outside these days and just goes from one spot in the yard to another, usually pulling a bunch of weeds and carrying those around until he decides to drop those and grab something else. The few herbs we have growing probably don't have much of a chance. At least we didn't plant them, they were here before we moved in.

In the other hand is something called foam that I got at a toy store. It's just multi-colored, squishy, sticky material that you can mold into whatever you want. It has the consistency of rice krispy treats and will stretch and you can smush it back together. Micah really loved that and loves for you to stick it on him and then he pulls it off and just giggles like crazy.

One of my favorite things about Micah is that it doesn't take much to make him laugh or entertain him. I love his little belly laughs about something as simple as sticking something on him and pulling it off.

Our St. Patrick's day boy turns 6!

2011-03-31T11:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I have neglected this blog for a while. I'm not sure why. Maybe I think I have to have just the right setting and time to be able to do it, but I don't. I also wonder if it's worth it, if anyone reads it, and think sometimes I don't have anything new or exciting to say. I have entertained the idea of quitting it all together. We first started this to update people about Micah and I think people followed for a while and maybe a few still do. Then as I thought about it more, I realized I like doing it no matter how sporadic I may be with it. Even if only four people read it, it's worth it because some day, I want to have it printed as a keepsake for myself and my boys.

These are just a few of the birthday pics. For some reason blogger was only allowing me to post 5 photos, so I just gave up. I will post more later. Micah had a good birthday. We took a giant chocolate chip cookie to school for his class and it was devoured all except for the few pieces they saved for Gabriel and myself. Micah's Aunt Janel came to help us celebrate and we went to the dreaded Chuck E. Cheese which Gabriel kept calling "Chuckie's place." For some reason, Micah absolutely loves that place. With his occasional sensitivity to noise and too many people, you would think it would overwhelm him and he would immediately head for the door. But, no! He loves it! He laughed and rode mostly the Bob the Builder ride and a few others. He did play a few of the games too which is more than he has done in the past. This was our third year to go there, but the first time Gabriel could really enjoy it. He had a blast as well.

The Big 4-0

2011-02-07T12:38:00.000-08:00

Surprise!!

On the porch of our little cabin

We took several leaf throwing pics

Last week I turned 40. It was a very uneventful day because we were snowed in. I had plans for the morning and Wayne and I were going to go out that night. That did not happen, but a couple of weeks before I have some dear friends who surprised me with an early birthday celebration that they had been planning for quite some time. Amy, Rebecca, Marianne, Vicki, and I started a tradition of the five of us getting together for a weekend at least once every two years.

Amy, Rebecca, and I went to college together at SFA. They also lived right across the hall from me in seminary. Vicki was my roommate at GGBTS (Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary), and Marianne also lived down the hall in the dorm. I was blessed to have many dear friends at Golden Gate, many who I still keep in touch with. These just happen to be the ones I keep up with the most. We have laughed so much together, prayed together, encouraged each other, and have seen each other through some pretty hard times. I would also say that the main thing we all have in common is that we are either not doing what we thought we'd be doing in life and/or are not where we thought we'd be in terms of location. We may go for weeks or even a couple of months before talking on the phone and we don't get to see each other much. Yet, we just pick up where we left off as if we had seen each other the week before.

The last time we got together was in Boston in 2007, so we hadn't quite met our getting together every two years idea. Knowing Vicki lives in Los Angeles and Rebecca in Boston we weren't sure if all of us could get together, but Amy (Fort Worth) and Marianne (Texarkana) and I had thought we could sometime this year. Little did I know they had all been thoughtfully cooking up this weekend in January.

Wayne told me a week before that I needed to pack for the following weekend, that he and the boys were not going, that some friends were coming to get me and take me somewhere. Of course, he was sworn to secrecy. He was patient with my questions for the first couple of days, then I think I started to annoy him. I had just about figured out that it was Amy and Marianne, but it didn't make sense. Why would they drive all the way up here for us to go somewhere when they live 5 hours south? So, when I opened my door I was absolutely shocked to see Vicki on my front porch! She flew from L.A. to Fort Smith (don't you know her arms were tired, ha ha) stayed with a friend who lives nearby (how random!), and had her friend bring her to our house. When I opened the door, her friend was waiting with the camera. One of my friends commented that it looked like the prize patrol had arrived! So, my first question was where is everybody else? Vicki could not keep from telling me that Amy and Rebecca were waiting for us in Hot Springs. Marianne had had a death in the family earlier in the week, so we were so glad that she was able to join us on Sun; we weren't sure if we would get to see her at all.

We stayed in a little cabin on Lake Hamilton. Friday night we had birthday cake that Amy had made. I opened gifts and Rebecca read some letters that people from college and seminary days had written to me (per requests from Amy and Rebecca). Throughout the weekend went to eat out a few times, walked around downtown, went to a movie on Sat. Amy cooked for us that evening. Sunday we ate at The Pancake Shop then went on a long hike (thus the leaf pictures). Hot Springs has numerous places that offer hot baths and a couple of us chose to participate in that. I was wimpy; the water was too hot, so I didn't last long. Sun. evening after Marianne joined us, we ate at a great pizza place. The entire weekend we talked, laughed, played games, and talked more (as women will do). We commenced our time together on Monday morning by sharing and praying together and for each other.

I am so very thankful for this weekend, and especially for these dear, lifelong friends that God has given me. It definitely made turning 40 so memorable and special!

Marshmells

2010-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Pure delight

Last week Gabriel had Marshmallows for the first time, I think. We had a MOPS Christmas shopping/baby sitting exchange in which half the moms stayed behind and kept the kids while the other half went shopping and the next day we switched. It was all in an effort to get some Christmas shopping done or use your 2 and a half hours however you chose. My friend Rachel brought hot chocolate and marshmallows for the kids. So while we were waiting for the hot chocolate to cool down enough for them to drink we offered them some marshmallows. I asked Gabriel if he wanted some and he had this really perplexed look on his face like "What's that?" Then I realized he probably had never had them. Of course he loved them and ever since has been asking for "Marshmells." So, I bought some when I went grocery shopping.

Gabriel knows his name and will often speak in 3rd person (like, it's Gabriel's turn), but not always. Yesterday I was trying to determine who needed a diaper change. I said to him "Somebody stinks. Is it you?" to which he replied "No, I'm Gabriel!"

Bedtime buddies

2010-12-10T11:59:00.000-08:00

Gabriel has gotten accustomed to have lots of stuffed animals in his bed. It started out many months ago with just one and then three, and now there are about ten. I just think it's so cute how he has to have all those in the bed with him. We took the rails off his bed a couple of months ago and just have the guard up so that he doesn't roll off in the floor. So far, he stays in his bed really well. Most of the time our boys go to bed so well and I am very thankful for that.

He loves the little hotwheels and loves to line them up places, like the arm of the couch or the back of the couch. He really studies them and places them in the exact way he wants them. He's actually a little possessive of them and does not like for Micah to touch them. We are working on sharing. The picture of him with the cars was sometime in September and the last one was at the end of October. He is looking less like a toddler and more like a little boy these days.

Bungee cord kitchen

2010-11-23T10:46:00.000-08:00

Oh man!
Books everywhere

He even looks guilty

Loves dirt

Laundry area

Dishwasher

oven

These are a few of the things that we deal with on an almost daily basis. I am not posting these photos or writing about it simply to complain or be negative, it's just the way life is for us a lot. I also want to be able to look back and laugh someday and realize we don't need bungee cords anymore.

We have bungee cords attached to these various places to keep things together. Micah has loved to open the dishwasher door and sit on it or pull it down as hard as he could. It actually came completely out and the whole dishwasher was leaning forward out of it's hole. I think Wayne's Dad put some kind of screw in or something that fixed it. He has kind of lost his fascination with pulling the dishwasher lid down (maybe because he's realized he can't pull it), but we just keep the bungee cord attached just in case.

He is also quite obsessed with the washing machine and really wants me to open the door and start it most of the time he is at home. Sometimes I will humor him if I need to wash a load of clothes, then let him play in the water for just a little bit. He just loves water play and gets such a thrill when the washing machine is started. He will laugh and jump up and down and then put his hands in the water. Of course, most of the time I have to tell him I don't need to wash anything right that second, and I'm not sure he understands until I close the door.

The oven door has been the most annoying because he would open it and let it fly back to the closed position. He was doing it so much that now the door won't close all the way without the bungee cord.

The books have been an ongoing problem since we lived here. He pulls them off the shelf, puts them on the space above the shelf and pushes them off. Whether it's because he likes the cause and effect, is just trying to be annoying, or get attention is anyone's guess. He has also broken a few of our dining room chairs by completely knocking them over that my gracious father in-law has repaired each time.

I love my son, I know he is a gift and God has taught me a lot through him and will continue to teach me over the years. These things just cause me to be weary sometimes and I don't know what to do or how to not be weary. I know Jesus says "Come to me all who are weary..." I know the Scriptures, and that I need to pray. It's just hard sometimes. I can just be trying to get supper started or folding laundry, and he will start doing one of these things. There are days when he doesn't do these things as much, it just seems lately it has been at an all time high. I know many of you pray for us who read this, so I ask that you pray for wisdom, patience (wait, don't pray for that because it might be worse! : ), and compassion for him. Wayne always says that he is reminded that he is probably trying to communicate something when he acts out and of course, he can't talk to us and tell us what it is. Maybe someday!

Nacogdoches weekend

2010-11-22T12:15:00.001-08:00

college friends from SFA
Darth Vader, Batman, and a future basketball player

My sister with her boys, Benjamin and Harrison

Halloween weekend Gabriel and I went to East Texas. Wayne and I had decided it would be best for he and Micah to not go because we have learned Micah does not do well in big group situations. We spent Friday night with my sister and her family, then went to Nacogdoches on Saturday for Homecoming at SFA, my college alma mater. We didn't actually go to the football game, because I couldn't see any point in taking a two year old to a football game. So I met up with some friends for lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant in town and then Gabriel and I went to a park so he could play. Later in the afternoon we went to the Baptist Student Ministry building for an ice cream fellowship. The first picture is from there. I wish I had taken more photos that were a little closer, but keeping an eye on Gabriel was enough of a task.

We went to Lufkin that night and spent the night with the Haley's (Jim & Barbara) and went to church with them on Sunday at Carpenter's Way; I hadn't been back there since our wedding day. It was great to see them, as always. I lived with them for about 6 months while I was finishing my last teaching year before I went to GGBTS in the fall of 2000. I met Jim & Barbara back in 1995 because I was leading a disciple now weekend and my group stayed in their home. Barbara and I started meeting for lunch every now and then and she quickly became a dear friend and mentor to me. I got to know them even better when I lived with them as usually happens when you live with someone. They hosted my family when Wayne and I got married.

I also got to visit briefly with Tom and Donna Willis who are close friends with the Haley's. The Willis's were also very special to me, taking care of me in different ways while I was in college and afterwards.

We have stayed in touch over the years and they have always been and will always be very special people in my life. It's amazing to me to see the way God puts people in your life and forms friendship mostly because you have the commonality of knowing Christ.

On Halloween day, I went back to my sister's. We met up at a mall and went trick or treating in the mall. They had a Halloween "costume" that Gabriel borrowed, a basketball player. I think it had been Benjamin's uniform last year. I just didn't want to bother with a costume this year, maybe next year! Gabriel was so proud when they would drop a piece of candy in his bucket. We got there toward the end of the time, and most places had run out of candy, but a little is better than none! It was fun.

Tattling

2010-11-18T11:30:00.001-08:00

Micah's teacher told me yesterday that he "tattled" on a little girl in his class. Of course, since he can't talk I said, "He what?!" She said that one of the girls in his class was playing with two toys, one of which he wanted and she wouldn't share. Instead of taking the toy away from her, he went to the teacher, grabbed her by the hand and took her to the little girl. So the teacher made the little girl give him one of the toys. Ms. C thought that was great. I did too. It's neat to hear little stories like this every now and then that show his awareness. Gabriel is bad about taking a toy away from him and he just lets it happen. We usually try to teach Gabriel not to do that and then give the toy back to him. Micah will (on occasion) give us a look like that says "Can you believe what he just did?!", but he has never taken our hand and led us like he did with that girl in his class.

Wild Things Farm

2010-10-28T09:10:00.001-07:00

Korben & Gabriel

King of the tree

Rachel & Ada

looking off into the distance (or at the horses)

hay ride

"Patches" the horse

"Don't poke her eye"

Our MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group meets at our church twice a month, but the other Tuesdays of the month we are doing playdates. It has been so much fun! Last year we would say we were going to get together on the off Tuesdays, but rarely did it. This year we were intentional and actually planned some things to do. Sometimes we just go to a park and let the kids play, but we have a few other planned activities as well. We went to the Wild Things Farm a few weeks ago. It was a perfect fall day! The weather was beautiful and we had so many moms and kids come; I think there were about 40 moms and preschoolers that day!

We went on a hayride to start off, which was so much fun and all the kids seemed to enjoy it. We only stopped long enough for everyone to pet "Patches" the horse. Gabriel kept wanting to touch and poke her eye, but did learn how to pet her gently. We went through a corn maze, which was really too much for preschoolers, I think. Each child got to pick out a little pumpkin to take home. Gabriel just wanted to throw them. The only bad thing that happened was that Gabriel pushed a couple of pumpkins off onto a little girl's head. They were the ones sitting on top of the hay stacks and she was on the other side sitting on the ground. It was one of those slow motion type situations in my mind in which I wanted to stop him, but wasn't fast enough. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt, just surprised.

The last part was a little petting zoo with a baby pig and some goats. Gabriel wasn't interested in feeding the goats the stale popcorn that was offered, but he was interested in eating it himself! Gross! I didn't let him have anymore after that. He didn't seem to understand that it was for the goats.

We loved the Wild Things Farm!

Nebraska trip

2010-10-21T07:46:00.000-07:00

Kevin & Karen in front of their restaurant

Tour of the stadium

Didn't purchase it, but had to try it on.

cool fountain

indoor practice facility

Wayne and I went to Nebraska for a few days at the end of September. Grandma & Grandpa came to stay at our house with the kids. It was our first time away together without the kids in about a year and a half. I had always wanted to go to a Husker football game in Lincoln. We had been once to see them play in the Cotton bowl a few years ago, but I had never been to one at Memorial Stadium.

We arrived on Thursday evening and had dinner with Brett (Wayne's Christian Challenge director in college) & Mary Yohn at Laslow's which is one of Wayne's favorite restaurants in Lincoln. It was great to see the Yohn's and catch up with them. We walked around the campus on Friday and were treated to lunch at Bread & Cup by Kevin (one of Wayne's mentors in college) and Karen Shinn, who own the restaurant. The food was delicious; I definitely recommend it if you are ever in Lincoln! Friday night we went to eat at Yia Yia's pizza...wow, some of the best pizza I've ever had! We went to a movie afterwards, which is a rare treat for us! Saturday we went to breakfast at Bread & Cup. They had delicious breakfast and very good coffee (so important in our book). The morning was cool and cloudy, so we hung out at Barnes & Noble for a while, also a rare treat for us.

We headed over to the stadium around 4:30 and got seated in plenty of time, a little too much time, ooh, did I say that out loud...to watch the game which started at 6. By that time, the sun had come out and it was near perfect temperature. The Huskers won the game, but didn't blow the South Dakota jackrabbits out as expected. They didn't play that well and so the crowd was not into it as much as I expected they would be. It was still fun and amazing to see 86,000 in attendance.

Sunday morning we went to church at New Covenant where Wayne was a member when he lived there. We enjoyed it and started making our way home afterwards. It was so good to see our boys. Micah just smiled and giggled when we came in the house. They missed us, but did great and had fun with Grandma & Grandpa. We so enjoyed our time and were appreciative of Wayne's parents for being willing to take on our kids for four days!

Paint the Park Pink on the Green

2010-10-15T08:12:00.001-07:00

The Bell tower on UAFS campus

In honor of my Aunt Nona

Dad came out to show support

Mom is a 14 year survivor!

Survivors walking toward the starting area

The survivors

Mom and I participated in the Paint the Park Pink on the Green walk last Saturday. I think it used to just be called Paint the Park Pink when it was at one of the local parks, and then they moved it to the UAFS campus. It was a beautiful fall day, perfect weather for the occasion. Mom and I went to the survivor breakfast before the walk and then the walk started at 9 am.

Mom has always wanted to participate in one of the Susan G. Komen walks/races and something has always come up that prevented her from taking part. So, this was a fun day and I'm glad it worked out for us to go. Dad came over and walked with us. There were hundreds of people who participated in the walk. We walked all the way around the beautiful UA Fort Smith campus.

There were pink flags all around the campus in honor of hundreds of people.

We had two flags out, one in honor of Mom and one in honor of Aunt Nona, Dad's sister who passed away in 2007. She had breast cancer many years ago and it was another kind of cancer that took her life, but we still wanted to honor her. She was dearly loved by our family.

Just Pet the Cat

2010-10-01T12:13:00.000-07:00

We have a cat that frequents our yard for some reason. I think she belongs to one of the neighbors behind us, but really likes our backyard. She likes Gabriel too even though he seems to want to torture her. The other night I was gone to a meeting and later I read what Wayne had posted on his facebook status:

"When I imagined what being a parent would be like, I never envisioned myself saying the following: "Don't sit on the cat. NO. DON'T SIT ON THE CAT!...Don't poke it, either. No, don't hit it! Don't step on it. Don't pull the tail. Pet it. Pet the cat. Just pet the cat...Good. Just like that. Pet the cat."

First day of Kindergarten

2010-08-19T15:08:00.001-07:00

Euper Lane Elementary School

In his new classroom

The egg chair (don't know what else to call it)

Waiting in the hallway for the bell to ring

Micah's first day of Kindergarten was mostly a success. His teacher (who has been teaching for 34 years!) told me he had a "pretty good" day. She said he only got upset twice and both times it was due to noise. When they went down to the cafeteria for breakfast, she said it was VERY noisy and seemed overwhelming to him and he wasn't interested in eating. The other time he got upset was because of another boy in his class who was crying. We had this issue before at Kids First and the student was moved to another class. Unfortunately, that probably won't happen this time. Although at some point he will need to adjust to noise, even if it really bothers him. An occuptional therapist took him for a walk when he got really upset in the classroom. The teacher also told me that at one point she told him he could go to the sensory area and sit in the chair that looks like an egg. She said he went over and got in it and pulled the cover down. I think we all need a chair like that!

I actually did not get emotional; I think last week was harder to see him leave Kids First. I got a little sad later when I saw the kids lined up who are in the mainstream Kindergarten classes and all the parents standing by watching them. It was just one of those moments that I have sometimes when I wish things were "normal." I also get a little anxious when Micah starts a new school, just thinking of all the expectations and all the things he can't do yet. Then I have to remind myself that at each school, (Marindale in CA, Cook preschool special ed. here in Ft. Smith, and then Kids First) he has shown improvement and progress. So, it's a new day and we are thankful for a good school for him. We are also thankful that for a brand new school, new classmates, and new adults to get used to Micah had a great day.

Last day at Kids First

2010-08-17T13:24:00.001-07:00

Miriam & Lisa

He got to roller skate for the first time and loved it!

Last Friday was Micah's last day at Kids First. Yes, he did "graduate" in June, but a lot of the kids go through the summer after they graduate. It was kind of sad to me that his time there is over. I remember when we first found out about Kids First, went through all the paperwork and waiting for the Tefra medicaid to be approved which took about 4 months. It was a hard waiting time, because Gabriel was a newborn and Micah had a really hard time with him being around. We got through it though and were thrilled when he started at Kids First in January of 2009. Now he starts Kindergarten on Thursday!

It's hard to articulate what a blessing that place has been for him. Miriam and Lisa have been the ones who worked with him the longest. The staff there is incredible and so many people cared for Micah. I'll try to think of most of the things they did where Micah was concerned. They taught him lots of things, sat with him when he didn't want to sit, brought him back to circle time when he got up and walked away, sat beside him at meal time so he would stay in his chair and eat, sat beside him during nap time when he was too wired to go to sleep, changed many diapers, tolerated him knocking over shelves and throwing toys and then redirected him, walked with him around the building or took him to the therapy room to bounce on a big exercise ball when he was too upset to stay in the classroom, worked with him when he didn't want to cooperate (therapists), checked his temperature and looked in his ears numerous times (nurses), endured endless flushing of the toilet and other water play, celebrated his little bits of progress, enjoyed his happy moments and smiling face, and most of all, they loved him.

I was doing okay when I went to pick him up until we were about to walk down the hallway and three or four of the staff were crying because he was leaving. I suppose it's a good thing to know your child will be missed and is loved that much.

Seattle part two/Gabriel's birthday

2010-08-15T19:44:00.001-07:00

Our 2 year old boy!

Wayne is blowing a party favor at Micah

This is what happens when you leave the cake unattended; culprit-Micah
This was after the party (obviously my pictures are out of sync)

Friends from San Francisco

Windus fam minus Peter (he's taking the photo), Cindy, Esther and kids

I decided to make two posts since I had so many pictures and I wanted to separate Gabriel's birthday from the other one.

We got to see some friends from San Francisco who now live in Seattle. Well, one of the friends there with her kids (Esther) still lives in San Fran, and Cindy now lives in Vancouver, BC. They happened to be there while we were there so it was a triple bonus: The Windus family, Esther, Emily, & Jake and Cindy! It was such a blessing to see them!

Gabriel turned 2 on June 29th! Wow. Two years have gone by fast. He is getting to be such a big boy and tall (shocker, I know). He's three feet tall now, taller than most his age; I think he's in the 95th percentile. He's talking so much, saying new words all the time and starting to put two and three word phrases together. He knows his name and has started saying it. He LOVES cars, especially hot wheels and really is fascinated with anything that moves. He loves puzzles, looking at books, and he loves animals. He is very much into the toddler temper tantrums, but we won't focus on that right now. He really is a sweet little boy who loves to give hugs, which he calls "hud." We love our sweet boy!

Seattle trip

2010-08-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

Mt. Rainier

Paula speaking at graduation

Pike Place (Micah was walking with Janel)

Outside Pike Place Market

loved the balloons

loved opening and closing this door

Farmer's Market (well it's over to the left out of the picture)

The Locks

Alki beach

We had a great time in Seattle when we went at the end of June. We left Tulsa at 6:30 am; three flights and 12 hours later we arrived in Seattle. I think Wayne and I decided we won't fly anywhere with the boys again for another five years! They actually traveled really well, the waiting in airports was the hardest.

We stayed with Wayne's parents in a condo on Alki Beach which is in West Seattle. It was a beautiful area and we loved being a block from the beach! Of course, the water was too cold to get in, but the boys had a great time playing in the sand and Micah loved the waves coming in.

Paula graduated from Mars Hill Graduate School on Saturday. It was a great ceremony and she gave a beautiful speech. She was selected by her class to be one of three students to speak. We are so proud of her!

After graduation Paula and her roommates hosted a party at their house. That's where the balloons came from that Micah is playing with. Sunday we went to a great Farmer's market and then went to the Locks afterwards.

Monday we went to Mt. Rainier which was absolutely amazing. Monday evening we celebrated Gabriel's birthday which was actually Tuesday, but Janel was leaving that day so we wanted to celebrate early. Tuesday, we went downtown to Pike Place Market and walked around and had some delicious clam chowder! Wednesday we had to leave...too bad. We had a great time and I did not want to come back so soon! We were really enjoying the cooler temperatures and the time with family.

The beginning of catching up

2010-08-04T12:45:00.001-07:00

Gabriel with Uncle Gary

Gary and Sandy

Gabriel with Nana and PaPaw

I'm not sure why it has been so long since I've posted. Gabriel and I took this trip over to my Mom & Dad's for Father's Day weekend, then we were in Seattle for Paula's graduation and last week the boys and I went to Mississippi with Grandma & Grandpa Womack. Other than that, we've been here, I have just been lazy about posting. So, this is the first of many photos and posts to come.

I took a few extra days around Father's Day and Wayne couldn't take extra time off, so that's why Wayne and Micah aren't in the pictures. We enjoyed the weekend, spending time with Mom & Dad and Gary and his girlfriend, Sandy. Gabriel thoroughly enjoyed pointing out all the tractors as we made the 5 hour drive. He's so fascinated with any vehicle.

Kids First Graduation

2010-06-09T12:38:00.001-07:00

Another vain attempt at a family photo!

Love the look on Micah's face

Playground at Kids First

Emma

Wayne walking Micah with Miriam behind Wayne's right shoulder

Wayne in a chair made for 4 year olds

Grandma & Grandpa and Gabriel

One of several attempts to get his cap on; never worked

Getting his "diploma" from his teacher Lisa

Micah graduated from Kids First last Saturday. It was a cute little ceremony which lasted thirty or forty minutes at the most. Micah did so well sitting; Wayne only had to make him sit down once or twice. They had asked us to decide beforehand which parent would sit with the child and we decided it would be Wayne. We were surprised when we got there and they had all little chairs for kids and adults! So it was quite comical to see Wayne sit in one of those tiny chairs. Most everyone laughed when he sat down and I felt slightly bad for him all the while laughing myself. He was a good sport about it. Gabriel did so well too and sat with Grandpa the whole time.

They played "Pomp & Circumstance" as the kids walked in. I had asked jokingly if the Fort Smith symphony would be there to perform that song; the answer was "No, but maybe we'll look into it for next year." The kids sang songs they had learned for the year and then got their diplomas. I included the picture of Emma because she was the only student in Micah's class who he would let hold his hand when they walked places and had to hold someone's hand. I guess she has been his little friend.

Even though he graduated, he will still be going for the summer until Kindergarten starts in August.

Circle of Friends camp

2010-06-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

One shot of the camp;wish I had taken more!

One of the counselors sharing a powerful song he wrote

Micah again trying to be a part of the talent show

One of many attempts to keep Micah occupied

Entertainment/Talent show & Micah

"Ride, Ride?!" He kept seeing these golf carts and wanted to ride one.

Cassie

Katie and John

Many of you know that for Memorial Day weekend we went to Camp Gilmont in East Texas for Circle of Friends weekend. We have been on a waiting list to go to this for 2 years. It is funded by grants and donations, therefore, no cost to us. Circle of Friends is a weekend for families of kids with special needs in which volunteers/counselors attend to the children for most of the weekend while the parents do whatever they want. The options were hiking, canoeing, swimming, taking a nap, reading, and talking with other parents. We chose all of those at one time or another throughout the weekend. The counselors were also responsible for eating with/feeding the kids for meals. We took the kids back around 8 both nights.

We went down on Friday to visit with my sister and her family (this is the camp where they live and work) and the Circle of Friends camp started on Saturday. From the minute we registered, the volunteers assigned to the kids took over. Micah was off and running and his counselors started following him immediately. He was able to run and go wherever he wanted: outside into the woods (not too far), inside to play for a bit, back outside...you get the idea. They also had swim time for the kids, which Micah loved. He seemed to really be comfortable with his "followers" as I liked to call them. Katie is a college student and John will be a junior in high school and they were great with Micah. I know they had to be exhausted by Monday morning!

Gabriel did fairly well, but was not exceptionally keen on being away from us. We would see them both periodically and Micah would smile or sometimes come over and give us one of his lean in hugs and then go back to roaming at his heart's content. Gabriel needed us to pick him up or take him for small increments at times. He seemed a little lost, but then I was reminded that it wasn't just 2 people at church that he only sees once a week, it was about 80 with an occasional glimpse of the two tall Womack's he calls Mom and Dad. I think next year he will do better, but he is only 2 (almost) after all. I didn't take as many photos as I should have. Kim and Thomas have been at this camp for 12 years, I think, and in all those years I'm not sure I've taken any pictures of the camp! I didn't do much better this time, and the ones I did take are not that quality. We are supposed to be getting a CD of photos of the weekend sometime soon. There was a talent show/entertainment show on Sat. night and Micah kept wanting to be in the middle of everyone's act. That's why there are a few pics of him with other people. I was slightly concerned about it, but know that they pretty much expect that to happen every year. If there was music involved he would usually do his funny little dance moves!

Wayne and I enjoyed time to ourselves and it was a little strange, but nice to have so much free time. I got to hang out with my sister some, so that's always great when I get to see her! One of the best things about the weekend was meeting Laura, who has a son with Tuberous Sclerosis. Her son is now 21, has his own lawn mowing business and is doing well. I had talked to her on the phone when Micah was first diagnosed but had never met her until this weekend. She is on the leadership for the Circle of Friends camp and had a workshop time for parents on Saturday. We also had a couple of blocks of time to compare stories and identify with struggles and hardships. I was really blessed by meeting her because she has a lot of insight; some things that I haven't even considered up to this point concerning Micah's future which I may go into on another post. This was the first time I had met someone face to face who has a child with TS and knows exactly how I feel. I can't describe how encouraging that was. Before we left she said "If I could walk a couple of miles for you, I would." To which I replied "You've already done your miles."

Evidence of Gabriel growing on Micah?

2010-05-27T19:53:00.000-07:00

Closest brother pic so far

Micah about to make his escape

Gabe & Grandpa

Sweet father & son

Wayne dumped us out

These photos were taken by Wayne's mom and I couldn't resist posting the one of them in the wheel barrow especially! We were all amazed that Micah didn't try and get out of the wheel barrow immediately but let Gabriel ride with him. It didn't last more than a few minutes, but still was encouraging! The first pic was taken in March and you can sort of tell Micah is not too crazy about Gabriel being on the swing with him.

I think he is getting more and more accepting of Gabriel and sort of playing with him sometimes. Micah loves for Gabriel to chase him around the house. A couple of weeks ago, Micah even let Wayne "help" him give Gabriel a goodnight hug. He put Micah's arms around Gabriel and Micah didn't resist and even smiled about it. Of course, the next time we tried to do it he got upset. I don't think we'll be getting any pictures of them with their arms around each other anytime soon, but any little progress is nice!

Lake Fort Smith

2010-04-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

Visitor center

I'm trying to catch up on posting photos! We went to Lake Fort Smith state park about a month ago (Micah was in school) for the first time and were really impressed with how pretty it was. It's about a half hour drive from our house. People have told us that they've made it a lot nicer in the last few years. There was a great little play area and some hiking trails. We went on a short hike and that was enough for Gabriel.

Coffee bean partners

2010-04-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Micah managed to get the coffee bag out of the pantry without me realizing it. I was in the kitchen cleaning up after their snack and heard some rattling and then sounds of something dropping/spilling. So, I looked in the living room and I guess Gabriel had gotten the bag open and dumped at least a day or more serving of coffee beans and he and Micah were picking them up and chunking them across the room. Of course, I got the broom and starting sweeping and every time I would get a little pile (they were everywhere), Micah would follow me and try to disrupt my pile before I could get it in the dustpan. They were just giggling and having a great time. It was another small moment of them playing together that is encouraging, even if it was a mess for me.

This little piggy

2010-04-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

Well, it isn't the most quality video, but it's cute. Wayne had been doing "This little piggy" with Gabriel and was encouraging Micah to help him. So, Micah would barely touch Gabriel's little toe and then laugh hysterically. I thought it was neat and a little encouraging that he was willing to touch Gabriel, even in such a small way. The lighting is horrible, but they had been doing it for a little while when I got the camera to video it, so I had to hurry before the opportunity was gone.

Scary Friday

2010-04-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

We had a scary situation happen on Friday. Gabriel was had been taking a nap for a couple of hours, woke up crying and rather quickly he got quiet. I didn't think much about it because sometimes he will cry during nap briefly and then go back to sleep. After about 10 minutes I decided to go check on him. When I went into his room, he was convulsing, eyes rolling back, and just limp. I started panicking, screaming, praying and not knowing what to do. I tried to call 911, couldn't get through so I immediately loaded him in the car without fully fastening him in and tore out of the driveway to take him to the ER. I drove like a mad woman to get there, speeding and passing people I shouldn't have been passing and screaming at Jesus (praying). Gabriel was still convulsing and did so all they way to the ER. Thankfully, we live only a mile from the hospital. He stopped once we got there and started crying. I carried him in and they got him back immediately and starting working on him, taking blood, and asking questions. He had gotten up to a fever of 104 when he had started the morning with a really low grade fever.

They did lots of tests, x-rays, and a CT scan to make sure nothing was going on with his brain. So after 6 hours of being there, he was diagnosed with pneumonia but the CT scan was fine. He is on an antibiotic and it has worked well. He hasn't even been acting like a kid who is sick. We kept him in all weekend per Dr.'s orders and it has been driving him crazy that he couldn't go outside! He's doing well and I'm so thankful. We missed out on our church/city's big Easter egg hunt Saturday and he missed church yesterday, but he's all rested up now.

His pediatrician said that he may or may not have one of those febrile seizures anytime he has a fever. She said if he does that most kids outgrow them around 4 or 5. You would think it wouldn't have freaked me out the way it did. It just shocked me because 1)he isn't the kid in our family who has seizures, and 2)it was very physically disturbing. While Micah's seizures from infancy until 2 were scary and very damaging, they didn't physically look that bad.

Anyway, though it was a semi-minor thing, it made me want to cuddle with Gabriel and hold him a little tighter this weekend.

1st Haircut

2010-03-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

Before picture: Serious bedhead going on
Side view

Enjoying a post hair-cut sucker since the one we used to distract him during the haircut fell onto the floor.

I have wanted to get Gabriel's hair cut for at least a month now. He was starting to look shaggy, or like a junior high kid who's being cool and growing out his hair. My mom gave Micah his first cut, so I wanted her to do Gabriel's first. They were here two weeks ago to visit, but after a couple of days of being here, she got sick and remained so until the day they left.

So, Wayne decided to do it with his clippers. I told him that was ok, as long as it wasn't a buzz cut. That's what we always give Micah because he despises getting his hair cut so much, that we cut it that short so we don't have to do it
for another 3 months or so. We actually tried cutting his hair over the weekend twice. It was as if we were giving the Tasmanian devil (the Bugs Bunny cartoon character) a cut. It was just not going to happen. So, we'll try again soon.

Doesn't Gabriel look so cute and little boy like?!

Walking in the light

2010-02-25T10:33:00.000-08:00

Holly, Dennis, and their son Forrest (this picture was taken a few years ago in SF)

I went to a conference in Norman, OK at a church my dear friend Holly is a member of . The title of the conference was "Joy in His Presence." It was such a blessing to see Holly and her husband Dennis. I first met them in China in 1999. The conference was so refreshing; there was lots of worshipping and praying, and being reminded of what it takes to have joy. I went to a seminar on Sat. afternoon to hear one woman's journey out of depression. She talked about a lot of things, but especially how there is no darkness in Christ.

I was reminded of 1 John 1 which talks all about that. Whenever I may be feeling a "darkness of soul" or however I may think of it, I need to run into the light, who is Christ.

1 John 1: 5-7

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him, yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

I think this passage is talking more about sin, but it's easy to get into a fog of darkness and feel like you can't see the light even though you know that isn't true.

The woman telling her story that I referred to earlier played this song and I have been so blessed by it that I wanted to share it. It's a little over 6 minutes long, but worth it.

More pictures

2010-02-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

playing at the park

Bubbles with Aunt Paula

Elvis Aaron...I mean, Gabriel Aaron

"Helping" with laundry

more bubbles

I had a few more pictures to share. When I took the photo of Gabriel with his sleep n play unzipped, he was into unzipping it and saying "Uh-oh", one of his favorite words. So, I called him Elvis, because Elvis used to have his jumpsuits unzipped or opened quite a bit in the 70s.

2010-02-08T15:03:00.000-08:00

I'm a little late in posting these pictures, or anything for that matter. I suppose I took an unintentional break from the blog and decided to jump back in. These were all taken over the holidays with Wayne's side of the family. The sad thing is, we didn't take one single picture when we were with my side of the family. We were all spread out a little more, doing shopping, and other various activities and didn't have great amounts of time all together. Anyway, I'll have to work on getting pictures next time we are all together.

Today, we had a second showing of snow in two weeks. I haven't taken any pictures yet, but will try to do that before it melts. Wayne (being the native Nebraskan) said "I love living in the south when it snows. Three inches of snow=a snow day." We were all home today even though the roads (by looking out our window) didn't seem too bad. UA Fort Smith closed and Kids First was closed.

Hanging out in cabinets

2009-12-15T15:02:00.001-08:00

All of these photos were taken at the old place. Gabriel loves to climb in and out of any empty space.

All He Wants for Christmas...

2009-12-15T10:57:00.000-08:00

... his two front teeth! Yes, Micah recently lost both front teeth on the top. He has already lost the two on the bottom this past summer and the permanent ones have started coming in. One of his favorite thing to do these days is look at himself in the mirror. I'm not sure if it's because of his missing teeth or if he just enjoys looking at himself.

Micah's appt.

2009-12-15T10:35:00.000-08:00

We went to Arkansas Children's Hospital last week for Micah's bi-annual appt. with the pediatric neurologist. It was the best appt. we've had there so far. Usually we have to wait for a ridiculous amount of time before we get back to the exam room, then it's another long wait until we see the doctor. This time, we only waited for 5-10 minutes before they called us back and from that point, we waited about 30 minutes. So, it wasn't bad at all. Micah did well with Gabriel roaming around in the small exam room while we waited and he was fine with the doctor. Thank God for a low stress appointment! We saw a different doctor than previous visits and we REALLY liked him. He took his time with us and explored a few options in terms of new medications to try, which is different than the previous Drs. we've seen there. Micah has still been having about 3-4 seizures (maybe more, it's hard to tell) a week, so the Dr. wanted to add another anti-seizure med in addition to the one he's been on for quite some time.

We just started the new med this week and are just starting out with a very small dose and will slowly increase that over the next few weeks. Aggressive behavior and irritablity are a couple of the potential side effects, so we are praying those won't happen. He was awake at 3:15 this morning and did not go back to sleep, so we are hoping it was just one of those rare, strange nights that happen about once a month and that it's not because of the new med. One of the potential side effects is drowsiness, but as we've seen with one previous med, sometimes the opposite can happen.

We've actually had a little breakthrough moment between Micah and Gabriel. One night last week, Micah wanted Gabriel to chase him through the house (they weren't really running, just a fast walk) and it was very obvious because he would look back to see if Gabe was coming and would just giggle while Gabriel giggled too. This went on for about ten minutes as Wayne and I just watched. We were both watching and smiling without saying anything, except to encourage Gabriel to continue chasing. It was a neat thing to watch. Micah still doesn't want him to sit near him and if one of us is sitting with Micah and Gabe comes over, Micah will still get up and walk away. However, it's a tiny improvement!

We are enjoying the house and still getting settled. We have unpacked most boxes with still a few to go, and we still need to hang things on the wall.

Our New House

2009-11-23T09:55:00.000-08:00

Garden spot with storage shed

back of the house
nice tree and lots of leaves to go with it

zinnias, some still standing, some limp

Micah's room

herb garden

front bathroom, and yes, that's Micah by the toilet...he's obsessed with flushing the toilet these days. I have to get in my basketball defensive mode and block him.

our room

Gabriel's room

front door

front of the house

kitchen

living room

entry way and someone who wants to open the door

Well, the pictures aren't in quite the order I had intended and some of the captions are above the picture and some below, but I'm sure you can figure it out! Three years of blogging and it is still such a process sometimes for me! It should be simpler, maybe if I did it a little more often it would be!

Yes, for those of you who didn't know, we bought our first house and moved in on the 14th. I have been unpacking and cleaning the old place. It's amazing what a process moving out of one place and into another involves and oh, the dirt! I finally finished cleaning the old place yesterday. Wayne's parents were here the whole week before we moved and we cleaned the new place; it wasn't left in the greatest shape. We painted our bedroom and bathroom (didn't post a photo of that one), and Micah's room. Gabriel's room was already that pretty color. We love the red kitchen as well. We moved in on Sat. and Grandma and Grandpa took Gabriel home with them which was so helpful! I unpacked many boxes last week though there are still many to go (mostly books). Gabriel came back on Thursday and has had a blast exploring since.

Micah seems to be adjusting well. He had a hard week last week going to school every day. He would cry and cling to me every time I took him, but they would tell me he always cheered up after a little while. The teachers reminded me that change, whether good or bad is still change and that for many kids with special needs, it's hard. He also cried at night for the first few nights when it was bed time, but has done much better with that. We kept the arrangement of their rooms the same, meaning Gabriel's is the first on the right, followed by Micah's at the end of the hallway.

They absolutely love the backyard and Micah has found numerous flowers to pull out and carry around. I'm not sure they'll last or will come back if they last! As you can tell, it's a very big backyard. So, we'll need to buy a rake for starters, and a lawnmower, hedge trimmers, and...we have no lawn tools.

It's a big place compared to what we've lived in and we have lots of space, especially in the den. We only have a bookshelf in there for now! We have been welcomed into the world of home ownership, having had to make three repair calls last week, two for plumbing issues and the thermostat went out. It was all working fine when we moved in, just one of those things. However, we are thankful and are enjoying it so far.

October Happenings

2009-11-05T12:43:00.000-08:00

Wow, what happened to October? It has been a very busy few weeks. I had gallbladder surgery at the end of September and my parents were here to help during my few days of recovery. Wayne's parents came to help after my parents left. The second weekend of October I went to Memphis with my dear friend Marianne to see Beth Moore and have a "girls" weekend. Then, the weekend after that was my 20 year high school class reunion. This past weekend Gabriel and I went to east Texas to visit my sister and her family. So, we've been keeping the road hot!

While it was a minor procedure, the surgery experience and particularly the anesthesia was interesting. I had never had any type of sedation before so it was bizarre to see the surgeon one moment and then the very next thing I recall was a nurse trying to wake me after surgery. I'm so thankful that it went well and that the recovery time was very quick. I'm also thankful that the pre-surgery pain is gone!

The exciting news is that the closing date on our potential house is next Monday. We only made the offer in late September. It has all happened so fast! I don't have any pictures yet, but will post some next week if nothing falls through. It's in the north end of town (right now we live in the south end), so it will be about a 5 minute drive to work for Wayne and not much more than that to church. It's also a lot closer to Micah's school. Oh, the money we will save on gas!

Elvis shirt revisited

2009-09-27T13:37:00.001-07:00

Wow, he's changed a lot in two years!

My dear friend Marianne made this shirt for Micah two years ago and I thought it would be fun to compare the pictures. He can still wear it! She knew how much I love Elvis and wanted to make this shirt for Micah. I loved it so much that I begged her (ok, I didn't have to beg) to make me some pajama bottoms. The shirt was a little big, and now it fits still, but probably won't for much longer. Wayne usually dresses Micah in the mornings, but I did one day this week and wanted him to wear the Elvis shirt. Lots of people at his school LOVED it and wanted to know where I got it. They were so surprised and a bit sad (since they couldn't get their hands on one) to know that my friend made it. Thanks again, Marianne!

Some recent photos

2009-09-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

Lasagna!

He enjoys wearing his food. Mashed potatoes can be therapeutic.

He loves getting into anything that might contain him; though he isn't containted for long!

Beautiful boy.

Pancake mix. Yes, I left the pantry door open, again.

I was out of sight from him for a few moments eating my lunch at the table. I just thought he was playing quietly. He was...with the pancake mix.

Short Visit to Henryetta

2009-09-02T14:08:00.000-07:00

Back in late July, I got to meet up with Larissa in Henryetta, OK. She was in for a short visit from New York and we arranged to meet there since it was halfway from OK City and halfway from Fort Smith. For those of you who don't know, Larissa is one of my dear friends from our time in San Francisco. I hadn't seen her since Gabriel was about a week old, so it was great that we could connect. She's a lot of fun and a few of these pictures show her craziness. We went to Wal-Mart so I could find a sippy cup for Gabriel. While I was in the midst of making that difficult decision, she was having fun with Gabriel, putting strange shoes on him and taking pictures.

That's just wrong.

Sweet little Micah man

2009-08-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

We watched 20/20 last Friday night which was about medical miracles. The one segment we were waiting to see was toward the end, about a 13 year old girl with autism who has learned to communicate using a computer. She cannot speak but began typing a few words one day, which shocked her parents and made them realize she wasn’t as intellectually impaired as they thought.

It was an encouraging story, though quite rare for someone with autism to be able to communicate like that. Of course, it made me think about Micah and wonder if he is never able to speak, will he be able to communicate in some fashion through sign language, or as advanced as typing on a computer? He communicates now by taking our hand or arm to try and show us what he wants or raises his voice in frustration if we can’t figure it out. He knows a few signs, and we are trying to be proactive in introducing new signs. We are only doing one a week, as suggested by his speech therapist so that we don’t overwhelm him. We try and use the few we know in communication with him even if he is not yet using the signs back to us.He was just recently approved to get an augmented speech device, which is basically a small computer that he will take everywhere. It has numerous icons like food, drink, etc. and once he learns to use it, the idea is for him to push the icon and it speaks whatever the picture is. It will take about 2 months to come in. We are thankful for this and hope that he will be able to use it and not merely push buttons to hear the noises.

I have to say, not being able to communicate with him well is one of the hardest things about Micah having Tuberous Sclerosis. Wayne and I often take turn playing with the boys in separate rooms in the evening since Micah doesn’t want Gabriel near him. I was sitting in his room reading to him and started to get sad, wondering what life will be like for him as the years go by. I really don’t allow myself to think about it too much, because it’s too hard. I began to cry as I imagined what his future might hold. I also started to feel compassion for him. I get frustrated with him because he still doesn’t want Gabriel near, and start thinking “C’mon already, it’s been 13 months!!” but then I have to remind myself that he can’t help it.

We pray for him all the time, asking God to give him speech and asking God to heal him totally, believing that He could do it in an instant if he so chose. I don’t mean to be pessimistic when I say imagining his future is too hard. For Wayne and myself, it’s almost like tug of war with living between hope/faith and reality. Yes, God can do miracles, but we also have to consider that he might not. Yet, for now I think it’s best to take it one day at a time and rejoice in the small bits of progress we see, like him starting to do some of the motions for songs and sit still during center time at his school. His smile and laughter give a lot of people joy, including us.

Our 8th Anniversary

2009-07-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

It’s so hard to believe we’ve been married for 8 years today! It doesn’t seem like it has been that long! A lot has happened in that time as I suppose a lot happens in anyone’s life in 8 years. We’ve had some hard times like Wayne’s cancer a year and a half into our marriage, my sister’s brain tumor diagnosis several months later, and then Micah being diagnosed with TSC when he was almost 5 months old. We’ve also had enjoyable times such as the birth of our boys, Kelly graduating from seminary(Wayne had already graduated when we married), job promotions for Wayne, and living in the San Francisco bay area.

Though the hard times have been challenging, I’m thankful to God for healing in certain ways for each person. Wayne was healed completely. Kim is doing fairly well, though her quality of life is not the same and she has many health problems. I remember that it was our anniversary weekend in 2003 when I found out about her tumor. It was so hard to celebrate and I spent much of the weekend crying. I was so afraid of losing her. I’m so thankful that didn’t happen.

Micah only has occasional seizures now. Though there’s so much we hope and pray for in his life concerning his development, we try and live one day at a time. He can be hard to deal with sometimes, and so much fun a lot of the time.

I’m thankful that through God’s grace we have held together through all of these situations. I’ve heard that the divorce rate is really high for those who have kids with special needs. It can be quite stressful, but I’m thankful that Wayne is very helpful in caring for the boys and he is encouraging to me when I feel like things are overwhelming. He never makes me feel like I am overreacting to frustrating situations.

Now here we are in Fort Smith, Arkansas. I don’t think either of us would have ever guessed that 8 years ago. It’s where God has us, at least for a season, and we are trying to “bloom where we are planted.”

Gabriel's 1st birthday!

2009-07-14T19:28:00.000-07:00

Gabriel had his first birthday on June 29th and we had a small, fun celebration. My parents and Wayne's parents were all here, as you can see by the photos. It was nice to have them all here. My cousin and his family came as well, but I didn't get a photo of them. We had pizza and birthday cake and ice cream followed by me "helping" Gabriel open his gifts.

It's so hard to believe that a year has gone by already! He is so much fun, almost a pro at walking now and jabbering a lot. I love his little baby language and wonder what he is trying to say. Sometimes it's very clear what he is trying to communicate when he gets mad or frustrated. He is definitely learning to assert his little will! He laughs a lot and is generally pretty happy and laid back.

He is eating well and growing so much! I'm not sure how tall he is, but I know it's over 30 inches and he weighs about 21 pounds. His favorite foods are tomatoes, blueberries, and ham, so far anyway. I think he eats tomatoes every day.

Gabriel is such a joy to have and we are so thankful to God for our little baby boy!

First Swim and First Steps!

2009-06-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Gabriel had his first swim last Friday afternoon at some friends' house from church. He seemed a little unsure at first and just kept looking at me with an expression that seemed to say "This is different, what are we doing?" He remained in this little float for the entire time and towards the end he was splashing the water quite a bit. We were only in the water for about an hour, with a break in the shade for part of that time. I didn't want him to get a sunburn. Even though I had lathered him with sunscreen, you never know how effective it will be.

Wayne got an early Father's Day present. On Saturday night, Gabriel took his first steps! This video was from last night. The one from Saturday wasn't so great, and Micah kept walking in front of the camera. He will take some steps here and there, usually about 3 or 4 and then collapse while giggling. It won't be long though, before he will be toddling everywhere!

Zach's graduation

2009-06-17T09:37:00.000-07:00

My three handsome nephews

My immediate family minus spouses and kids

Zach with his Dad and Mom

My brother's son Zachery graduated from high school last month. It was so hard to believe! Eighteen years have gone by so quickly. I have so many memories of cute things he said and did when he was a baby. I also love the fact that he and I took a couple of road trips together for holidays and that he came to visit me when he was just a little boy when I lived in east Texas. He was the first grandchild and nephew for many years until my sister had her sons. He was the ringbearer in our wedding almost 8 years ago and was so cute and doted on by many who were there. I don't have a scanner yet, so I can't post the cute picture of him when he was 10 in his little tuxedo! Someday, I will get up with the times and get a scanner.

Zach is very smart and sweet. It will be fun to see how he continues to grow as a young man as he prepares for college and life in the "real world."

Going back to Mother's Day

2009-06-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

Thomas, Kim, and my sweet nephews Harrison and Benjamin

on the stage with the pastor

I'm a little late in posting this from Mother's Day. We had Gabriel's baby dedication at church. Mom and Dad were here as well as my sister Kim and her family. It was nice to spend Mother's day with my Mom for the first time in nine years!

The dedication was very quick. Our church only does baby dedication one Sunday a year, which was unusual to us. There were about 25 other babies and families, so they moved us through quickly. We didn't have Micah in for that time because we weren't sure how it would go. The waiting in line to move through would have been too hard for him, so we went to get him afterwards for the family picture. The one that the photographer took turned out fairly well because we are all looking at the camera. I don't have a scanner or I would post that one.

The Powdered Sugar Incident

2009-05-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

This happened last Thursday. This mess topped all three from the day before. I had gotten home from picking up Micah at school. I got him out of the car first and then went back to get Gabriel as I always do. I immediately went to change Gabriel’s diaper and Micah had gone into his room which I thought nothing of. Apparently, I left the pantry door open in the kitchen, once again. As I was coming out of my room I glanced in Micah’s room and saw him sitting in his bean bag chair, dumping powdered sugar out of the bag. He had already dumped it all over his bed, all over the carpet, all over his toys, and all over himself. He was also enjoying the taste because he was smacking his lips.

I didn’t get mad or frustrated, just sighed in exasperation “OHHH Micah!” Then I started the task of cleaning up which took about half an hour. Before I cleaned up, I decided to take a few pictures. I knew that one day, I will look back at these photos and laugh hysterically. I accidentally deleted one photo that was a good shot of Micah, but you get the gist by seeing these few.

Three messes in one day

2009-05-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a messy day at the Womack household. I had gotten a rose on Mother’s Day at the baby dedication and it was sitting on top of the entertainment center where I thought it was out of reach. Wrong. I was back in the bedroom for just a few seconds yesterday morning and heard a crash. I ran into the living room and discovered some picture frames knocked off as well as the rose in the vase on it’s side with water dripping off the entertainment center, on to the TV and on to the floor.

Just the day before, Wayne was helping me with changing Gabriel’s diaper (he’s getting quite wiggly and strong). When we finished, I came into the living room to discover Micah playing with my bouquet of flowers (also from Mother’s Day) on its side, with water and bits of flowers everywhere.Apparently, I had left the pantry door open long enough for Micah to discover a bag of rice. It had a twist tie on it which he somehow managed to get off. While I was feeding Gabriel, Micah had happily dumped the rice on the floor.

The last thing was my wedding bouquet. It was in a plastic box which was taped on both ends. Micah found it in his closet ( I had also mistakenly left this door open). I saw him with it but thought there was no harm since it was taped. I suppose he rattled and shook it so much that tiny fragments of flowers were scattered all over his bed and in his floor and in a few other places, all with the box taped and never completely opened!

It’s so hard to not get frustrated with him or lash out angrily and raise my voice in these situations. Then, I have to remind myself that he doesn’t know he is doing anything wrong. He loves water and he loves flowers…knocking the flowers over was about getting to both. He loves plastic and different textures…the rice was about that. I’m sure they have rice bins at school for the kids to play in. I want to say to him, and sometimes do, “What are you doing?!” or “Why are you doing that?!!” I’m sure it makes perfect sense in his mind. I need to remember to pray in the moment when something like these instances happen, to ask the Father for help in responding gently and lovingly.

Where do I start?

2009-05-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been a while! So sorry for the two of you who check every day to see if I’ve posted! Okay, maybe there’s more than two. Anyway, a lot has happened and I won’t be posting all of it today! Since I last wrote, we’ve had both sets of grandparents and my sister and her family came to visit. The stomach virus also visited and started with me, then Micah (poor kid was out of school for a week!) and then Wayne had it for a couple of days. Thankfully, Gabriel did not get it!

Since I last posted, Micah had the MRI and did very well with the whole process. His neurologist said there were no changes except those consistent with Tuberous Sclerosis. When I asked what that meant, he said there were some areas that looked like scar tissue that can sometimes develop which can cause mild seizures. He still has seizures on occasion; they are so mild that you have to be watching very closely or at just the right moment to know it’s happening. So, overall, that was good news about the MRI.

I know many of you have prayed diligently for Micah since he was a baby, and we are always thankful. I also know that many have prayed specifically since I asked for that in March when he was having such extreme meltdowns/tantrums for about two weeks. Thank you for that as well. We haven’t seen anything like that since that time. We have figured out that he is sometimes very bothered by the dishwasher and other loud noises (lawnmowers, hair dryers), so these noises will upset him. It’s such a process trying to figure out why he gets upset, but things have been so much better!

9 month photo shoot

2009-04-01T11:27:00.001-07:00

It’s hard to believe that Gabriel turned 9 months old on Sunday! I found this denim shirt that was Micah’s and decided to dress him in it. I couldn’t resist a quick photo shoot. The brown recliner makes a nice background. He is getting so animated. He chuckles easily and is quick to get mad when we take something away that he wants to have or chew on that he shouldn’t. He has 5 teeth with a 6th on it’s way soon. He is crawling but hasn’t quite mastered it. He does the “army crawl” a lot and sometimes will make a few crawling motions only to lunge at something and then flop down on his belly. It’s so cute. He is moving all over the place and has discovered some of the electronics and the Cds. He managed to get one open that was a little loose in the case and started to chew on it. That's not so cute.

Birthday Fun

2009-03-26T19:21:00.001-07:00

For Micah’s 4th birthday, we decided to brave Chuck E. Cheese’s pizza/crazy kid’s place. Micah had never been there and we weren’t sure how he would respond to it; we were afraid that it might be too noisy and overwhelming for him. We wanted to do something that might be fun for him so we were glad that he really seemed to enjoy it and wasn’t affected by the noise at all. He loved the Barney ride the most, even though he has no idea who Barney is. His favorite thing to do was to run around in all the open space with Wayne following close behind. Grandma and Grandpa Womack were with us, but I didn’t get photos of everyone. Gabriel even liked the place and was mesmerized by the fake band (Chuck E. Cheese and all his pals) that “plays.”

Micah is sporting his St. Patrick’s Day birthday shirt which says “Lucky and Charming”.
Thank you for praying for him. The last two weeks have been much better with very few meltdowns. He has had good days at school. So, we’re not sure what was going on for those two weeks before the last update, but things are going well and have been much more peaceful. He hasn’t felt well the past few days, so he has been a little irritable and a little less tolerant of Gabriel. Otherwise, he has been easier to handle. We haven’t heard yet whether he will get the MRI any sooner.

Update and prayer requests

2009-03-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

This will be a repeat if you got an email from us. I'm never sure who reads our blog and/or if those same people are on our email update list.

It has been a while since I’ve updated about Micah, and I have meant to for a month or so and now it seems important. Not that it hasn’t been important, but things have gotten quite stressful in the last couple of weeks so I feel an urgency to ask for prayer.

Micah has been having some major tantrums/meltdowns/fits (take your pick) for the past couple of weeks. It has been almost daily with the exception of one or two days. He gets upset often in mornings as we are all getting ready for the day and in the evenings just before bedtime. His teacher at Kids First says his meltdowns at school are becoming more frequent and lasting longer. He cries, screams, and often thrashes around when we try to hold him or contain him. He was having such a hard time on Wednesday that the school called me to come pick him up mid morning. Sometimes it seems (though we aren’t sure) that it’s noise bothering him (the TV, the stereo, etc.) because he will bang on the TV or push it with his hands (and would push it off the entertainment center were there not a wall preventing it). Other times it is outside when the wind hits his ears. The nurses at his school have checked his ears often and I’ve taken him to the Dr. who all concluded that there was no ear infection. So, I’ve called his new pediatric neurologist and am waiting to hear back. Wayne and I are very concerned and are wondering if something might be going on internally, either beyond an ear infection or if something might be happening with the tubers (growths) in his brain.

I’m trying not to be anxious and worry about it as Scripture says (Philippians 4:-6 and 7), but it’s hard. It’s so hard to see your child so upset and not know why. Dr. Raja (his Dr. out in San Francisco) had told us that kids with Tuberous Sclerosis often exhibit behavioral problems and it may be that we are just now seeing that happen in a major way. There have been times that Micah has been hard to deal with in the past few years, but he has generally been a happy kid, and you know this if you’ve been around him.

We saw Micah’s new pediatric neurologist on March 2 at Arkansas Children‘s Hospital in Little Rock. It was an hour and twenty minute wait in the waiting room before we got in to see Dr. El Nabbout and Micah was no longer in a happy mood. He was too upset for the Dr. to examine him so he just asked us a lot of questions. We liked him, but he seemed a little too laid back to me. I think we will always compare other doctors to Dr. Raja because he was so good, caring, and really took his time with patients. He said that Micah will need to have an MRI of his brain and ultrasounds on his kidneys, heart, and possibly other organs once every three years after the next ones. The MRI is supposed to happen in six months, but we are pushing to get it sooner.

It was actually a good thing that Micah had a meltdown in front of the doctor. He is referring him to a developmental center connected with the hospital to be seen by a behavioral specialist. He thinks Micah may have a mild to moderate level of autism. We have been told there is a long waiting list to get into this center, so pray that it won’t take too long!
Gabriel is doing well, he has been sick for the past two days, but is on the mend, I think. He is doing a great job pivoting around with his arms on the floor and rolling everywhere. Crawling is probably not too far away. He has four teeth now, two on the bottom and two on the top. He laughs easily and is getting quite active.

I wrote most of this yesterday while Micah was at school and he had a good day…not a single meltdown!

So, if you are still reading, please pray for the following:

-Micah’s tantrums to decrease for his well being and ours, and so that he can benefit from his preschool
-for the MRI to be scheduled soon, in case that might reveal a reason for his behavior
-the process to get into the developmental center won’t be too long
-patience for Wayne and me as we care for and love him
-wisdom and patience for his teacher and caregivers at school as they deal with him
-please pray for me on Sunday morning, I’m running the Little Rock half marathon and I haven’t felt well today. Pray that I feel well Sunday morning and have strength and endurance for 13.1 miles!

We would love to know how to pray for you as well.

Gabriel babbles

2009-03-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

2009-02-18T11:55:00.000-08:00

Micah has regressed a little bit in terms of being okay with Gabriel. He was really upset on Saturday, crying and not wanting to look at him or be in the same room with him. He has been going back to his room more and closing the door. At times it has been like it was when Gabriel was a newborn. Why he has been acting this way again is a mystery. I was going to Wal-Mart on Saturday to pick up a few things so I decided to take Gabe along, so Micah could have some time with Wayne and since he had been so upset. While there, I spotted some Valentine’s Day balloons and thought I’d grab one for Micah. He loved it so much that he laughed, jumped, pulled on the balloon and was entertained for an hour or so until he busted it! So, Sunday I bought two more. By then, the enthusiasm had worn off a bit but he still plays with them every so often.

Thankfully, both the boys are feeling better. They both had virus that has been going around (RSV) which was pretty nasty for both of them. Micah had it first, was out of school for four days and then passed it on to Gabriel. He was quite sick with high fever, horribly congested, and listless at times. We ended up taking him to the ER because we had heard it can be life threatening for babies or could go into pneumonia easily. Thankfully, he didn’t have pneumonia, but had an ear infection in both ears. My parents were here that week, so it was quite helpful and nice to have them here and not have to get Gabriel out. I’m so glad they are both doing well now! Wayne’s parents were here to visit help the next week while Wayne was at a conference in New Orleans. It’s such a blessing to have family close!

I have a video, but it was taking a very long time to upload, so I'll try again later.

7 months old!

2009-01-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

Seven months have gone by fast! Gabriel is now almost 18 pounds and 28 inches long. He is babbling a lot and experimenting with his voice. He's a pro at rolling over both ways and seems like he's starting to think about crawling. He gets frustrated if he wants something that's out of his reach. He can sit up for a few moments before toppling over. He's generally a happy baby. He giggles and smiles easily. He has two teeth on the bottom and maybe teething again. He wants to put everything in his mouth. He has a little bit of a cold right now that was probably passed to him from Micah by a toy or something. Micah has been sick since last Friday and just went back to school today for the first time this week. We had snow and ice on Tuesday and Wednesday so he wouldn't have gone either of those days, but he was sick anyway.

Micah is drinking from a cup!

2009-01-28T12:09:00.000-08:00

Just after the new year we decided to try and see if Micah could drink out of a cup without spilling too much. One of the reasons is because all the other kids at his new school drink out of a cup and so we thought it was time for Micah to learn how. He has been drinking out of a cup with a straw for the past couple of years. At first he spilled quite a bit and didn't seem to understand that he needed to hold his head back to get more liquid. He is now doing so much better. We really try and praise him for not spilling and say "Try not to spill." Every now and then he accidentally or purposely knocks his cup over. He loves to play in water, but we're trying to teach him that it's not okay to play in or with his drink. We are so proud of him! He still needs some work on using utensils to eat. He can do it, but I think it's just easier for him to use his hands. So we and the workers at school are working on this.

25 Things

2009-01-28T12:05:00.000-08:00

This is something that's going around on Facebook, a way to get to know people in your life a little better. Probably a lot of people who read this know most of this about me (all 3 of you...just kidding), but it was a fun challenge to try and think of 25 random things about me.

25 Random Things About Me

1. I was a runt when I was born, under 5 pounds and so little that my mom dressed me in doll clothes (guess they didn’t have preemie clothes back then). I had a collapsed lung and was on breathing machines for about 3 weeks. My parents said they weren’t sure I would make it.
2. I am a fan of Elvis and have collected some memorabilia but only have 2 Cds of his and I don’t care for his movies.
3. I love to play and watch basketball more than any sport. I can see myself still playing when I have the opportunity even into my 70s or 80s.
4. I love being outdoors and doing almost anything recreational that involves being outdoors.
5. I hate stepping in any amount of water in socks, so much so that I will take my socks off if it happens and put on a different pair.
6. I love traveling but have only been to 6 countries. It’s one of my life goals to travel to all 50 states; so far I’ve been to 32.
7. I have always been a procrastinator and can be spontaneous. I married a man who is not spontaneous in the least. He says he likes to plan his spontaneity.
8. I love different types of music but mostly listen to Christian worship and smooth jazz.
9. I love coffee more than any drink, but I limit myself to about 1 large cup of caffeinated a day. I don’t mind decaffeinated. I’ll admit that I have become a coffee snob after living in California.
10. I love to read and would choose it over TV almost any day.
11. I have very fast labors. First son was born an hour and a half after admitted to the hospital. Second son was born 30 minutes after being admitted to the hospital.
12. I loathed running in high school during basketball practice, but took up running for exercise in 1994. I’ve since run 2 marathons and 1 half marathon and am training for another.
13. When I am reading a magazine that I own, I have to read it from page one to the end, I don’t skip around. If I’m waiting in line at a store, it’s a different story.
14. I am good at doing impersonations and voices and I enjoy acting.
15. I love sports and enjoy watching some sports on TV. I would rather watch Sportscenter on ESPN any day than something on HGTV.
16. I love going out to eat breakfast, especially to places that make gourmet type breakfasts.
17. I have ridden a camel and an elephant. Camel riding is overrated; riding an elephant is way more fun.
18. I have climbed Mt. Sinai in Egypt in a skirt and sandals in the dark at about 4 in the morning. We were trying to get to the top before sunrise. We made it and I had bruises from tripping and falling. I didn’t take pants because I didn’t think about it.
19. I have had lots of varied jobs: pizza place, cleaning houses, medical records coordinator at a hospital, school bus driver, youth intern at a church, elementary school P.E. teacher, bank teller, barista at Starbucks, teacher’s aide, Lifeway bookstore salesperson, associate for a printing company, summer day camp worker for The Salvation Army, sales associate at The Container Store, and presently now a stay at home Mom. My favorites were the ones involving working with kids, which of course include my own kids!
20. Having lived in the San Francisco bay area for the last 8 years and San Francisco itself for 2 of those years, it will always be one of my favorite cities. You’re singing Tony Bennett now aren’t you?
21. Being 6’1, I always prayed for my husband to be at least as tall as I and maybe taller. He’s 6’7.
22. I love God’s word; love to read it, study it, and teach it as I have opportunity.
23. I used to get into things and be mischievous when I was a kid; my grandmother called me “Pilfering Pete.”
24. I let papers pile up in one spot for weeks at a time until I can’t stand it any longer and have to go through them.
25. I usually give more details than necessary whether talking or writing, thus the reason for my lengthy answers in this list!

Micah's new school update

2009-01-15T11:57:00.000-08:00

We enjoyed visiting our families over the holidays and I’ll write about that a little later. I know many are wondering how Micah is doing at Kids First. Overall, he’s doing very well. He started last week going only 2 hours the first day and gradually increasing the time a little each day until he went a full day on Friday. They do this so that the child, teachers, and other students can all adjust. He has seemed to adapt well so far. He has only been upset once and that was one day this week. I think one of the major adjustments is nap time. They have an hour and a half nap time in which each student has a cot to lie on. The rule is, you must stay on your cot and be quiet even if you aren’t going to take a nap. When they first told me this I thought about saying “Good luck with that.” I didn’t say that but just told them that might take a while. Micah is hard to contain at times and he’s very strong and strong-willed.

Micah usually eats the breakfast provided even though he’s had breakfast here. He’s an early riser so by the time we get to school it has usually been at least two hours since eating here. So far, he isn’t eating the lunch very well. It’s all food from one of the local hospital systems here. The teacher told me that it’s pretty typical for kids to not eat the food (lunch) for a while.
He is being evaluated by all the therapists there and will hopefully start getting some of his speech and physical therapy soon.

I had to include a couple of pictures taken over the holidays. Micah found much delight in playing in the dirt in Grandma and Grandpa Womack’s backyard. I’ll write again soon and post more pictures.

O, Pitiful Christmas Tree

2008-12-21T19:42:00.000-08:00

The Sad Christmas Tree

Cow Elvis Ornament

The Christmas Tree guard

The Culprit

Do you notice anything about our tree? It's only decorated with ornaments one-third of the way down. That's because Micah has taken all of the ornaments off that he can reach one by one. We didn't even bother to put them back because we knew he would just take them off. He's also been fascinated with the lights and had grabbed at some, which is why some of them are hanging low. It's a real tree and he has had a great time batting at it, knocking an abundance of pine needles on the floor. So, I had an idea early on that I would scoot Gabriel's little toy farm pad that he lays on close to the tree. I said "Hey Wayne, who needs a gate when we have Gabriel?" You know, since Micah doesn't want to come to close to him. I know, it's kind of mean, but it works when Gabriel is out in the living room.

I got the cow/Elvis ornament last fall (2007). I went to Boston to meet up with four of my dearest friends ever from GGBTS. It was quite a memorable trip and so much fun to be with all of them again. When we were all at Golden Gate, we used to do an ornament exchange among the four of us, and at times I think one or two other gals participated. So when we got together last year we decided to do it again. My friend Amy, who lived in Boston at the time gave me a neat ornament from Boston's North End. When we went to Maine the next day, she found the Cow Elvis ornament and couldn't resist getting it for me (since she knew my love of cows and Elvis) even though she had already given me one.

Great news!

2008-12-09T07:30:00.000-08:00

We're teaching him how to drive early.

Don't you just love to watch a sleeping baby?

First cereal feeding a few weeks ago. He wasn't sure about it or what to do with it at first.

Most of you know that we have been waiting for Micah to be approved for a branch of Medicaid that is not based on income, but only on the child’s disability. We applied in August and have been waiting to hear since then. We were hoping for this to be able to get him into a Medical program here called Kids First through University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences; it’s sort of like a medical preschool which involves a school curriculum and any therapy that a child needs (Physical, Occupational, Speech). It’s an all day Mon-Fri program. He has been in a two hour per day M-Th program at an elementary school here. It has been good, but not enough time for him to get the therapy and individual attention he needs.

I am so excited and thankful to God to let you know Micah was approved last week! Honestly, I wasn't expecting it to be this soon because I met with Micah's case worker back in September and she told me it might be three to six more months from then! So, we are now in the process with Kids First and it is very likely he will start in early January provided all the necessary paperwork gets processed in a timely manner. It’s a very expensive school since it is considered a medical clinic, but it will be paid for with this type of Medicaid!

I’m so glad for this opportunity for Micah. I know it will be a great environment for him and one in which he can learn and hopefully progress in speech in particular. He still has no words. I want so much to be able to hear him speak and be able to communicate even a little bit with us. We were at church last night for the Christmas program. The children’s choir had a couple of opening songs. I got a little choked up just thinking about Micah and wondering if he’ll ever be able to sing or even speak.

He still has not made huge strides in adjusting to Gabriel. He actually smiled at him twice last week because Gabriel was watching him and smiling. Sometimes Micah doesn’t seem to be bothered by him (though he still won’t come within 2 feet of him), and other times he will immediately go back to his room and close the door if Gabriel is out in the living room with me.

Micah has had a few seizures since we’ve moved here and two as recent as this past weekend. They are different than what he had as a baby until he was two. They seem to be pretty mild, but still something we are going to be watching. He has seen one neurologist at Arkansas Children’s Hospital in Little Rock and will probably be seeing another one early next year.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-08T07:59:00.001-08:00

5 Months Old!

My mom with Benjamin

Dad

Gary with Benjamin and Harrison

It was the first time in 9 years that I spent Thanksgiving with my family! We went to my parents house in northeast Arkansas. Kim and Thomas and their two boys came up from Texas. My brother Gary lives in the area as does his 18 year old son, Zach. I can’t believe my first nephew is 18! He is a senior this year. I didn’t get pictures of Kim, Thomas, or Zach, but I will have some after the new year.

We had a good visit and great food that my Mom cooked. All of us had a little part in preparing the meal, but Mom always does the majority of it and she is a great cook.

We also celebrated Mom’s 60th birthday, that’s right she’s still young! She was a young Mom of 3 by the time she was 22! It was so nice to be with family for Thanksgiving and next year, Wayne’s family will have their turn. We will get to see them in just 2 weeks!

Harrison and Benjamin had so much fun with Gabriel. I wish I had gotten a video of Harrison dancing for Gabriel and making him laugh. I'm sure there will be more opportunities when we see them in a few weeks!

Happy Birthday to Wayne!

2008-11-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to Wayne! He’s catching up with me today by turning 37. I thought I would share some ways I am thankful for Wayne.

He is a great husband, so thoughtful and sweet to me. In our seven years of marriage, he has never raised his voice to me, has never spoken an unkind word toward me, or even jokingly put me down for anything. This is so much more than I can say for a lot of men. His words are those of encouragement and often complimentary. He often greets me in the mornings by saying “Good morning, beautiful.” even when I KNOW I don’t look beautiful. Who does when you first roll out of bed?

I love that he is so intelligent and knowledgeable about so many things. I can ask him almost anything that I’m uneducated or curious about and he will usually know the answer, and not make me feel dumb for not knowing. He’s sort of like my own personal search engine.
There are no household chores that he will not do. He’s a great cook, he will do laundry, and even clean the bathrooms. I will never forget when we lived in San Francisco how he would sort and haul all of our laundry to the Laundromat two blocks away. This was an every Saturday occurrence when I was pregnant with Micah and then after he was born. Now we have the luxury of having a washer and dryer in our house!

Wayne loves God and His word and is a gifted teacher of it. He has always been diligent about spending time with God, even if it means rising very early in the morning to do it.

And of course, he is a great father to our precious boys. He helps take care of them in so many ways and is so fun and silly with them. It blesses my heart to see how he loves them.
I know I haven’t exhausted the list, but these are a few of the things that came to mind.

Scary incident

2008-11-05T07:46:00.001-08:00

Yesterday as Micah was eating his snack, he started choking. I had given him a small piece of raisin bread. When we give him bread, we have to give little pieces at a time or else he will grab the whole slice and shove it in his mouth. He loves bread and doesn’t yet have the concept of biting off a little at a time. I thought that I had placed the bread out of his reach and turned to do something quickly. He started choking and I could tell it was not just a cough or two and then it would be okay. He had a look of panic on his face and I could tell his breathing was obstructed. So, I had a moment of fear mixed with determination. I got him out of his chair and prayed “Oh God! Help me!” and started doing the Heimlich Maneuver. A huge wad of the bread came out in his mouth and I fished it out. I sat on the floor and started sobbing because it was so scary. I think Micah thought I was laughing and so he started laughing hysterically.

We had just learned earlier in the day that a former roommate and friend of Wayne’s from Nebraska and his wife had lost their 15 month old son on Monday morning following a horrible accident at church. He swallowed a nail in the church nursery and his breathing and heart activity stopped for 30 minutes. Apparently, he fought for several hours but had brain swelling and his organs began to shut down.

I had been praying for them intermittently throughout the day. I can’t imagine their heartache and unspeakable grief. It just reminded me once again how life is so fragile. People can be doing routine things every day and something tragic comes out of nowhere. Pray for the Rhodes family in Salt Lake City if you think of it.